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- In.

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- I was bound. I was a madman on the

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run through the hills.

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I wandered, I was running from the sun.

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- But - Truth found me there.
It was in my darkest style.

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I traded my black heart for
joy, for something real.

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Something with power

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- Came I
- Once was.

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- Truth set me.

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Truth set me free.

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Truth set me.

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- Welcome to Tell the Truth.

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A weekly podcast about faith,

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current events, and life in general.

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Brought to you from Mountain
View Baptist Church every

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Monday night Live at 6:00 PM Central Time.

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Tonight we will be talking about dating,

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talking a little recap on what happened,

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what we talked about last week.

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And, uh, I think this is
gonna be a very interesting

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evening, brother.

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Brian, how are you doing this evening? I'm

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- Doing great, Tyler. How are you?

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- I'm doing very well.
Can't complain at all.

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How about you, brother Dennis? Doing

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- Great. Doing great.

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- Awesome. All right.

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Well, I think this is one of
those things that we ought

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to hop right into.

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So Brother Brian, we'll let
you get us started. Sure,

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- Sure.

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So last week, uh, we kind

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of kicked things off
talking about, um, our, our,

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I guess our heading is the Christian life.

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That's what we're really talking about.

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And then different aspects
of the Christian life.

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And the first one we felt like
was, uh, definitely, uh, one

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of the most important is, is church.

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Um, and, and what it
means to us, what it means

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to our lives, what church really is.

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And so those are some of the things

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that we talked about last week.

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Um, and so we thought we'd just
make it like a progression.

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Uh, you know, you're young,
you're in church, um,

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you're learning, you're being discipled.

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Um, the Lord is just, uh,
doing things in your life.

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And, um, and then you start dating.

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And that's what we want
to talk about tonight.

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We're gonna talk, talk about dating and,

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and really what dating looks
like as children of God.

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Uh, Dennis and I were talking just right

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before we started, uh,

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and, um, he said, it's been
a while since I've dated.

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And I said, yeah, it's been over 27 years,

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over 27 years since I've dated.

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And, uh, so, uh, but, but
we did have some experience,

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and I have, uh, raised, uh,

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helped raise three girls with my wife.

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And, and so, uh, we, we've seen how how

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that works, how that plays out. So

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- Yeah, it reminds me of, uh, you know,

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the little old lady in the
movie war room where, uh,

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she said, uh, you don't have

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to step on the same
landmines I stepped on.

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That's right. And,

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and, uh, I know between the
three of us, we've got a ton

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of landmines we've stepped on.

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Amen. And, uh, <laugh>.

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But you know, the good news, uh,

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everybody's gonna step on
something That's right.

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And God is a God that
restores. That's right.

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He's a God that makes all things
new. Uh, he's always there.

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All we have to do is repent
and come back to him.

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- Amen. Amen. Uh, I'll, I'll
say this, when, when my wife

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and I were dating, um, uh,
neither one of us were really

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where we needed to be at the time.

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We both raised in church and, and, uh,

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and both of us had, had, had
got away from the Lord, um,

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during that time in our lives.

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And, uh, I'm just
thankful that God was, uh,

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was gracious to us.

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And I'm glad that he
put her in my life, uh,

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because there's no telling
where I would be right now.

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I think she was, uh, uh,

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she was de definitely
part of my saving grace.

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And, um, I love her more today
than, than I did that day.

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Um, and we're still dating today.

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And, um, and that's
something we'll talk about

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when we get to the marriage thing.

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Yeah.

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- Yeah. And, and, uh,
you know, I, I've, uh,

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not such a great background
in my younger days, you know,

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and of course, you know, I've,
I've had a failed marriage

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that came out of those times.

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Uh, uh, just, uh, didn't
have the right focus.

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Um, I was focused on me
and what I wanted, and,

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and that's just not where God wants you.

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And I don't believe anything's gonna stand

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for very long without God
in the center of it. Yeah,

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- That's right.

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That's right. Dennis.

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I hope that, uh, I made a
Facebook post last night

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and kind of give, I guess,
a little warning about

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what we'd be talking about.

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And some of the things, um,

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that we talk about tonight
might be a little bit sensitive.

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But, um, I hope that, that
your children are, uh,

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that if they are dating age

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or about to be dating age,

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that maybe they're listening tonight

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or maybe you're gonna listen

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and then decide whether they
need to listen later or not.

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But, uh, but there are
some things that we want

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to talk about tonight, uh, as far as that.

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And, um, so, you know, what, what does,

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what does it look like for
children of God to date?

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- Yeah. That's, that's

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the million dollar question, isn't it?

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Mm-Hmm. <affirmative>. And,
and do we ever really see it?

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Yeah. You know, it's,
it's a, it's a tough time

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of life when you're
talking about teenagers.

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And, and I, I, you know,
there's, there's different,

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different dating at
different stages of life,

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I think, you know, in today's culture.

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But I, I guess best place
to start is with the teens.

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Uh, yeah. Yeah. 'cause they're
just getting into this thing.

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And, uh, it's a, it's a, it's
a strong, it, it, it's a hard,

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hard time of life.

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Yes, it is. It really is.

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It, you don't really realize

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how hard it is when you're
in it a lot of times,

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but you're in a place
where you're just trying

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to figure out how you fit in the world.

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That's right. And you've got
all these hormones raging.

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Yeah. Yeah. Especially for young men.

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I now, I can't speak to women
on that, on that front, but,

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but I know as a young man myself, um, I,

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I just liked pretty girls.

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Yeah. You know, chasing
pretty girls and, and <laugh>,

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and that's kind of, kind of
turns into an end in itself,

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and you don't have a goal for it. That's

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- Right.

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Yeah. Yeah.

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Anyway, I've always, I've
always, I've told the church

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before, I, I, I think my wife's beautiful

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and God didn't tell me
to marry an ugly woman.

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But, uh, <laugh>, I
think that's why God made

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that opposites, uh, uh, you
know, a trap like that, that men

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and women are attracted to each other.

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And of course, sometimes
that's the first thing

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that you do see, but definitely
not the most important.

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We find that out really,
really quick. Right.

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- Right. And we, I think we
need to be real careful, uh,

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you know, on this
podcast to, to understand

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that we're talking about boys and girls.

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Yes. We're not talking
about two boys, two girls.

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Absolutely. Absolutely.
Because you are absolutely

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outside the will of God
there. That's right.

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- That's right. Amen. Amen.

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He, he ordained it to be, uh, one man

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and one woman, and Yeah.

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And, um, so, uh, you know, some
things that I thought about,

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but you know, the world says,
uh, when you're dating, uh,

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go out and have fun.

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Yeah. You know, go out and,
you know, sow those oats

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or date as many people
as you possibly can.

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Yeah. You know, you don't have

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to worry about getting married, you know,

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and when my girls were growing
up, um, I, I told them, I,

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I said, look, I said, I
want you to date looking

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for the attributes and,

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and the characteristics of
the person that you would like

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to spend the rest of your life with.

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Now, you may date two guys, three

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or four guys, five, whatever,
through, through that time

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before you find that one person.

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But, but you have to kiss some frogs

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before you get to that prince.

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You know? Yeah. And so, but,
but I think if we do that

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and we keep that in mind, uh,
that we will, uh, we'll look

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for those godly attributes,
you know, look for that man

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that, uh, young ladies that, that he,

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he'll be a spiritual leader in your home.

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Look for that, that
young lady that, uh, that

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that loves the Lord and
respects herself and, and,

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and, you know, those things like that.

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And, you know, I think if we do that

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and we keep that in mind
while we're dating, we're,

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we're not gonna go out
and just the first guy

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or the first girl that we
are attracted to, that's

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who we, that's who we go out with.

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- Yeah. And it's, it's,
it's important too, right.

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To, to have a goal in it. Yeah.

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You know, you hear about
these people are just serial

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daters, you know, they
just, they just date

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for the sake of dating and Yes.

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And just go on and on and on.

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And for whatever reason, I,

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maybe it's sexual
promiscuity, I don't know.

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Yeah. But people, serial
date, maybe, maybe they're,

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they're looking for perfection.

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Yeah. It could be a million reasons.

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But it's important, I think,

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to understand when you start
something a little more serious

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with, with a guy or a girl,
that, that you understand

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that you've got a goal in mind.

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That's right. You know? That's right.

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- Yeah. We, we see a lot
of these, uh, that a lot

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of the TV shows that are on today, uh,

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they've got these dating shows
that are on where Oh, yeah.

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Where people don't even see each other,

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and then they talk to each other,

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and then all of a sudden,
uh, at the end of the show,

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you know, they decide whether

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they're gonna get married or not.

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Yeah. Man, what a messed
up world that is. Yeah.

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That, that we even put
that out there for our kids

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to look at and think that that's okay.

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That that's okay. Um, you know,

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the world tells us going
back to, you know, some

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of the things that they
say, uh, follow your heart,

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you know, that's a big one.

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That's a big one. But the
word of God says this.

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It says, the heart is
deceitful above all things

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and desperately wicked who can know it.

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And so I urge you, young men,

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young ladies, don't follow your heart.

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Follow God, follow the Holy
Spirit that lives inside of you.

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If you're, if you're a born
again believer, uh, then

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that has to be your measuring stick.

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That has to be your ruler of, uh, of, Hey,

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is this guy fit for the kingdom? Right?

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- Yeah. And that's, that,
that's the number one piece

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of advice that you can give
a young person dating, is

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that you've got to make sure

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that your relationship
with Jesus is strong.

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Yes. Amen. You've got to be
strong in your relationship,

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whether your guy or a girl.

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And, and what, what really makes it work

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and what really builds on it

241
00:10:06,185 --> 00:10:08,285
and leads to engagement,
leads to marriage,

242
00:10:08,285 --> 00:10:09,965
hopefully one day, is

243
00:10:09,965 --> 00:10:12,245
that you both have a strong
relationship with Jesus.

244
00:10:12,345 --> 00:10:14,845
And when you each have that
relationship, it comes together.

245
00:10:14,985 --> 00:10:16,125
It does. It forms,

246
00:10:16,265 --> 00:10:19,085
it forms a two outta one,
one outta two, right. That's

247
00:10:19,085 --> 00:10:20,085
- Right.

248
00:10:20,085 --> 00:10:21,325
That's right. Yes. Um,

249
00:10:21,635 --> 00:10:22,845
- Well, and I think it's interesting

250
00:10:22,845 --> 00:10:25,205
that you pointed out
about the TV shows that do

251
00:10:25,205 --> 00:10:27,965
that speed dating, you know,
we're gonna date you have

252
00:10:28,545 --> 00:10:30,885
one episode, you know that now,

253
00:10:30,885 --> 00:10:32,925
that encompasses usually
at least several days,

254
00:10:32,955 --> 00:10:34,285
even though it may be one episode.

255
00:10:34,425 --> 00:10:35,485
And then at the end of the episode,

256
00:10:35,485 --> 00:10:36,965
you're deciding whether or
not you're gonna get married.

257
00:10:36,965 --> 00:10:41,085
Right. But the world teaches
us marriage isn't the goal

258
00:10:41,085 --> 00:10:42,445
of dating dating's just about having fun.

259
00:10:42,445 --> 00:10:43,925
That's right. Right. It's
not about getting married.

260
00:10:43,925 --> 00:10:45,805
You don't have to get married
to the person you date.

261
00:10:45,805 --> 00:10:47,645
You're just dating to have fun, to go out,

262
00:10:47,705 --> 00:10:49,445
sow your wi wild oats, like you said.

263
00:10:50,585 --> 00:10:54,725
And I love what you said,
Dennis, keep the goal in mind.

264
00:10:55,105 --> 00:10:56,885
The purpose of dating is

265
00:10:56,905 --> 00:11:00,165
to find out whether the person
you're spending time with is

266
00:11:00,845 --> 00:11:02,485
a good spouse.

267
00:11:02,675 --> 00:11:04,325
Yeah. Is this gonna be a good husband?

268
00:11:04,345 --> 00:11:06,645
Is this gonna be a good wife? Right. Yeah.

269
00:11:06,825 --> 00:11:09,285
And if you go in with that
attitude and that mindset,

270
00:11:10,865 --> 00:11:13,845
and I think too often,
I remember being told

271
00:11:13,845 --> 00:11:15,805
that when I was a kid, nobody ever said,

272
00:11:15,905 --> 00:11:17,205
here's what that looks like.

273
00:11:17,455 --> 00:11:19,725
Right. Here's what you
have to be looking for.

274
00:11:19,725 --> 00:11:21,045
Here's what you need to be asking,

275
00:11:21,045 --> 00:11:22,325
what you need to be talking about.

276
00:11:23,145 --> 00:11:25,525
But we are told all the
things you don't need

277
00:11:25,525 --> 00:11:27,485
to talk about when you
go out on dates. That's

278
00:11:27,485 --> 00:11:28,485
- True.

279
00:11:28,485 --> 00:11:30,725
That's true. Um, and,

280
00:11:30,785 --> 00:11:32,645
and, you know, there's, there's some,

281
00:11:32,675 --> 00:11:34,165
there's some major issues

282
00:11:35,465 --> 00:11:37,845
and chances that we can take that, uh,

283
00:11:37,845 --> 00:11:39,085
if we just go out there and,

284
00:11:39,425 --> 00:11:43,485
and just start dating with no
thought, with no prayer, um,

285
00:11:44,225 --> 00:11:46,205
in any of that, on, on what we're doing.

286
00:11:46,465 --> 00:11:51,365
So, um, here's another
thing that I, that I, uh,

287
00:11:51,365 --> 00:11:54,485
have thought about, and I tell,
I I've counseled a lot of,

288
00:11:54,785 --> 00:11:57,005
uh, I do a lot of pre-marriage counseling.

289
00:11:57,185 --> 00:12:01,965
Um, I require it, if, if
I'm gonna marry someone, uh,

290
00:12:02,285 --> 00:12:04,845
a couple, then, uh, then they have to sit

291
00:12:04,845 --> 00:12:06,925
through at least a few
weeks of pre-marriage,

292
00:12:07,145 --> 00:12:08,245
uh, counseling with me.

293
00:12:08,585 --> 00:12:10,605
And, and we cover a lot of these things,

294
00:12:10,845 --> 00:12:11,885
a lot of these topics.

295
00:12:12,065 --> 00:12:15,565
And, and, and so one of the
things that we talk about are,

296
00:12:15,625 --> 00:12:18,485
um, you know, just unresolved issues.

297
00:12:18,825 --> 00:12:20,045
If you're dating someone

298
00:12:20,265 --> 00:12:22,165
and there's some, there's some issues,

299
00:12:22,195 --> 00:12:23,765
some major issues in their life,

300
00:12:24,585 --> 00:12:26,045
and those things are not resolved

301
00:12:26,465 --> 00:12:28,365
as you progress in that relationship.

302
00:12:28,365 --> 00:12:30,285
Those, those are things
that have gotta be taken

303
00:12:30,315 --> 00:12:31,605
care of. Those are, you know.

304
00:12:32,315 --> 00:12:34,965
- Yeah. And it, it's, I
think a lot of people, young,

305
00:12:34,965 --> 00:12:36,725
especially young people,
go into a relationship

306
00:12:36,725 --> 00:12:38,125
with somebody else, and they,

307
00:12:38,125 --> 00:12:39,725
they may be like half baked on

308
00:12:39,725 --> 00:12:41,245
Christianity or something, you know?

309
00:12:41,345 --> 00:12:43,285
And we, we start to think,
well, I can fix 'em. Yeah.

310
00:12:43,605 --> 00:12:46,365
I can fix 'em. You will
fix no one. Yeah. Amen.

311
00:12:46,465 --> 00:12:48,645
That's something that young
people need to understand.

312
00:12:49,105 --> 00:12:51,965
And I think maybe girls do that
more than guys do, you know,

313
00:12:52,225 --> 00:12:55,045
but, uh, God's gonna fix it, you know,

314
00:12:55,425 --> 00:12:57,245
and the only way he's gonna fix it is a,

315
00:12:57,265 --> 00:12:58,845
is a Matthew 6 33 thing.

316
00:12:58,845 --> 00:13:01,005
Right. Where, where seek first his kingdom

317
00:13:01,065 --> 00:13:02,205
and his righteousness and

318
00:13:02,205 --> 00:13:04,125
all these things will be added
to you. That's right. That's

319
00:13:04,125 --> 00:13:05,125
- Right.

320
00:13:05,125 --> 00:13:05,965
Amen. Amen.

321
00:13:06,165 --> 00:13:08,765
'cause when you're, when you're
looking for what he wants,

322
00:13:08,795 --> 00:13:10,885
when you're looking for those things and,

323
00:13:10,885 --> 00:13:15,005
and those godly attributes and
that person, um, you know, I,

324
00:13:15,145 --> 00:13:18,445
and I, I tell young couples
they're about to get married,

325
00:13:18,985 --> 00:13:20,805
you know, what are some red flags?

326
00:13:20,865 --> 00:13:22,525
You know? Yeah. Have
you seen some red flags?

327
00:13:23,065 --> 00:13:26,005
Um, have you had other people
tell you things? You know?

328
00:13:26,005 --> 00:13:27,045
Right. Uh, and, and,

329
00:13:27,105 --> 00:13:29,485
and those are some things
that you've got to think about

330
00:13:29,585 --> 00:13:31,285
and you've got to take into consideration

331
00:13:31,285 --> 00:13:32,285
because hey,

332
00:13:32,285 --> 00:13:34,045
they're gonna put on their
best behavior for you.

333
00:13:34,045 --> 00:13:36,925
Yeah. Yeah. You know, that, I
mean, that, that dating stage,

334
00:13:37,345 --> 00:13:39,485
uh, they're, they're going to be

335
00:13:39,485 --> 00:13:40,845
as perfect as they possibly can.

336
00:13:40,865 --> 00:13:42,365
That's right. You know? Um,

337
00:13:43,105 --> 00:13:45,965
and so if you've got people around you

338
00:13:46,025 --> 00:13:48,005
and they're warning you
about that young man,

339
00:13:48,025 --> 00:13:50,765
or they're warning you
about that young lady, then,

340
00:13:50,875 --> 00:13:52,285
then maybe you should listen.

341
00:13:52,285 --> 00:13:55,725
Especially when your parents
see things in that person.

342
00:13:55,865 --> 00:13:57,045
And I know that you think

343
00:13:57,045 --> 00:14:00,205
that your parents are the biggest morons

344
00:14:00,435 --> 00:14:01,685
that have ever off the face

345
00:14:01,685 --> 00:14:03,445
of the earth when you take advice to them.

346
00:14:03,725 --> 00:14:05,685
'cause Dad, I love her. Yeah. I

347
00:14:05,715 --> 00:14:06,715
- Love her.

348
00:14:06,715 --> 00:14:07,245
You don't understand you.

349
00:14:07,395 --> 00:14:10,245
- Yeah. You can't understand
what I'm going through <laugh>.

350
00:14:10,705 --> 00:14:12,565
And they don't know that
we have been through that.

351
00:14:13,025 --> 00:14:15,365
Uh, but, but when parents are, are saying,

352
00:14:15,365 --> 00:14:16,445
look, this is not good.

353
00:14:16,545 --> 00:14:17,965
You know, I've done it with my daughters.

354
00:14:18,005 --> 00:14:19,965
I said, Hey, I, you know, this is this,

355
00:14:19,965 --> 00:14:23,925
these are some things I, I
I'm not putting up with this.

356
00:14:24,145 --> 00:14:26,165
You know? Yeah. These, these
are things that you've got

357
00:14:26,165 --> 00:14:27,565
to look at and you've got to see.

358
00:14:27,565 --> 00:14:30,245
And sometimes love is blind, isn't it?

359
00:14:30,275 --> 00:14:32,365
- Yeah, it is. And, and that goes back

360
00:14:32,365 --> 00:14:33,805
to our church thing last week, right?

361
00:14:33,805 --> 00:14:34,925
Yeah. We need that network.

362
00:14:35,345 --> 00:14:37,845
It, it's like, you know,
everybody has blind spots. Yeah.

363
00:14:38,255 --> 00:14:41,245
Blind spots are true in
relationships are true in sports'.

364
00:14:41,245 --> 00:14:43,565
True. In just about
anything we do in our work

365
00:14:43,565 --> 00:14:44,725
life or whatever, whatever.

366
00:14:45,665 --> 00:14:47,085
And we need trusted friends.

367
00:14:47,185 --> 00:14:49,205
We need a a network of friends at church.

368
00:14:49,545 --> 00:14:51,245
We need to listen to our parents.

369
00:14:51,345 --> 00:14:53,765
And if young people
will just listen. Yeah.

370
00:14:53,795 --> 00:14:56,965
Just listen and consider it
and pray over it. Amen. Amen.

371
00:14:56,965 --> 00:14:58,925
You know? 'cause 'cause there are people,

372
00:14:59,275 --> 00:15:00,525
it's the landmines, right?

373
00:15:00,955 --> 00:15:03,165
- Yeah. It's, it is, like you
were saying a minute ago too,

374
00:15:03,265 --> 00:15:06,605
we, uh, we go into a relationship and,

375
00:15:06,605 --> 00:15:10,005
and you've heard the old adage
that, you know, I think men,

376
00:15:10,465 --> 00:15:13,045
uh, date women hoping
they'll never change.

377
00:15:13,195 --> 00:15:16,005
Yeah. <laugh> and women date
men hoping they will change.

378
00:15:16,075 --> 00:15:18,565
Exactly. And they think if
I just get a ring on their

379
00:15:18,565 --> 00:15:20,565
finger, that guy, he's not
going to do that anymore.

380
00:15:20,565 --> 00:15:22,125
Yeah. He's not gonna
be that person anymore.

381
00:15:22,135 --> 00:15:23,805
We're gonna get married and
we're gonna settle down.

382
00:15:24,385 --> 00:15:25,885
I'm telling you, if they're doing it

383
00:15:26,105 --> 00:15:27,405
now, they're gonna do it.

384
00:15:27,795 --> 00:15:28,925
- It's gonna get worse in

385
00:15:28,925 --> 00:15:30,285
- The relationship and
it's gonna get worse.

386
00:15:30,645 --> 00:15:33,165
<laugh>, if they're cheating
on you now. Yeah. Guess what?

387
00:15:33,165 --> 00:15:36,525
They'll cheat on you in your
marriage too, you know? Yeah.

388
00:15:36,525 --> 00:15:38,765
They will not, they'll be
unfaithful in their marriage too.

389
00:15:38,785 --> 00:15:41,765
And so, so those are some,
some major, major things

390
00:15:41,765 --> 00:15:44,005
to talk about with your kids and, and,

391
00:15:44,105 --> 00:15:48,165
and guys, for you
teenagers to listen to, uh,

392
00:15:48,465 --> 00:15:49,725
listen to community.

393
00:15:50,265 --> 00:15:51,885
But I will say this, Dennis,

394
00:15:53,145 --> 00:15:54,485
not everyone deserves

395
00:15:54,485 --> 00:15:55,805
to speak into your life. That's right.

396
00:15:55,905 --> 00:15:58,725
- You - Know? Yeah. You can
really get some bad advice.

397
00:15:59,305 --> 00:16:02,445
Um, if you're talking to
somebody who's just come out

398
00:16:02,445 --> 00:16:04,165
of a bad relationship with somebody

399
00:16:04,265 --> 00:16:06,165
and they were kind of scorn in that,

400
00:16:06,705 --> 00:16:09,445
and you say, Hey, you
know, I'm dating this guy

401
00:16:09,465 --> 00:16:11,925
and he said this, then boom,
you're fixing to get a lot

402
00:16:11,925 --> 00:16:13,285
of negativity outta that person.

403
00:16:13,355 --> 00:16:16,965
Yeah. You know? Yeah. Um, so,
so there's, there's people

404
00:16:16,985 --> 00:16:18,205
who will give you good advice.

405
00:16:18,345 --> 00:16:22,005
And I, I encourage you
to find those people, uh,

406
00:16:22,305 --> 00:16:23,485
let seek them out.

407
00:16:23,625 --> 00:16:25,805
Now, maybe that's an older
couple in your church.

408
00:16:25,815 --> 00:16:28,445
Maybe it's a, a couple
that's close to your age

409
00:16:28,445 --> 00:16:29,485
that's just got married,

410
00:16:29,545 --> 00:16:31,445
and they can tell you some of
the things that they've been

411
00:16:31,445 --> 00:16:33,445
through, but they've got
a good godly relationship.

412
00:16:33,825 --> 00:16:35,565
So just be careful who you let speak

413
00:16:35,565 --> 00:16:36,605
into the, into your life.

414
00:16:36,835 --> 00:16:38,845
- Yeah. That's true. And,
uh, maybe a youth pastor,

415
00:16:39,105 --> 00:16:41,085
you know, I know Trevor's just

416
00:16:41,085 --> 00:16:42,165
awesome with that kind of stuff.

417
00:16:42,195 --> 00:16:44,605
Amen. And listening, listening
to folks, and That's right.

418
00:16:44,705 --> 00:16:47,245
But we can't, we can't,
you can't pull away.

419
00:16:47,385 --> 00:16:48,725
And everybody's, everybody

420
00:16:49,225 --> 00:16:52,125
that's ever been in a relationship
has been blinded by love.

421
00:16:52,155 --> 00:16:55,005
Yeah. You know, and we've all been crushed

422
00:16:55,025 --> 00:16:56,525
by it, probably more than once.

423
00:16:56,695 --> 00:16:59,205
Right? Absolutely. Sure. And,
and Dayton is, is so hard.

424
00:16:59,945 --> 00:17:02,045
It is so hard. 'cause you can get crushed.

425
00:17:02,145 --> 00:17:03,645
You can, if you put
your feelings out there

426
00:17:04,065 --> 00:17:06,925
and you end up a little more, uh,

427
00:17:07,765 --> 00:17:09,725
antagonistic every new relationship.

428
00:17:09,725 --> 00:17:12,045
Right. You, you, you just,
you are a little more careful.

429
00:17:12,045 --> 00:17:14,005
You're a little more guarded.
That's right. Next time.

430
00:17:14,105 --> 00:17:15,885
And that's just how we
learn. And it's hard

431
00:17:15,885 --> 00:17:17,085
to watch as a parent.

432
00:17:17,235 --> 00:17:18,565
It's hard to watch as a friend.

433
00:17:18,635 --> 00:17:21,125
It's, it's, it's just, it's
difficult. That's right.

434
00:17:21,125 --> 00:17:23,245
And teenage years can be
really rough in that regard.

435
00:17:23,745 --> 00:17:26,165
- And when you, when you have
one of those bad relationships

436
00:17:26,345 --> 00:17:27,685
and you really did get hurt,

437
00:17:27,865 --> 00:17:31,165
and you start putting that
guard up sometimes, um,

438
00:17:31,545 --> 00:17:32,565
it takes a lot of prayer

439
00:17:32,565 --> 00:17:34,525
and discernment to let
that guard down again.

440
00:17:34,525 --> 00:17:36,645
Yeah. You know, that
where there is a good guy,

441
00:17:36,655 --> 00:17:38,445
where there is a good girl Yeah.

442
00:17:38,835 --> 00:17:40,565
That you start dating and,

443
00:17:40,665 --> 00:17:42,205
and sometimes we just don't let 'em get

444
00:17:42,205 --> 00:17:43,325
close to our hearts, you know?

445
00:17:43,325 --> 00:17:45,645
Yeah. And so, uh, that, that's something

446
00:17:45,645 --> 00:17:46,685
that takes discernment.

447
00:17:46,685 --> 00:17:48,365
That's something that, that takes prayer.

448
00:17:48,465 --> 00:17:52,405
And, and, and again, uh,
letting, letting a good community

449
00:17:52,405 --> 00:17:55,885
of people speak into your life
and listen and taking advice.

450
00:17:56,005 --> 00:17:59,405
I wished I had done that <laugh>
a lot earlier in my life.

451
00:17:59,705 --> 00:18:02,485
- Me too. Me too. You know,
I, no, nobody else knew.

452
00:18:02,485 --> 00:18:05,405
Nobody else understood when I
was that age, you know? Yeah.

453
00:18:05,665 --> 00:18:09,005
But, uh, yeah, they did. I
just didn't wanna listen.

454
00:18:09,075 --> 00:18:10,605
- Yeah. And you figure out how smart mom

455
00:18:10,605 --> 00:18:11,845
and dad they really are.

456
00:18:11,845 --> 00:18:12,845
Yeah. Later on.

457
00:18:13,155 --> 00:18:15,245
- Yeah. Um,
- So yeah.

458
00:18:15,425 --> 00:18:17,765
You know, it, Hey, where's a, where,

459
00:18:17,765 --> 00:18:19,565
where's another great place to get advice?

460
00:18:19,785 --> 00:18:22,485
Social media? Oh, no, no.

461
00:18:22,485 --> 00:18:26,165
Everybody wants to put
their, um, Hey, you know,

462
00:18:26,275 --> 00:18:27,765
I've got this going on in my life.

463
00:18:27,765 --> 00:18:31,245
What do y'all think? Well,
you're fixing to get put on

464
00:18:31,245 --> 00:18:34,605
that psychiatrist couch,
uh, by a bunch of, uh,

465
00:18:34,885 --> 00:18:36,165
cracker Jack box psychiatrist.

466
00:18:36,195 --> 00:18:40,085
Yeah. And they're going to
tell you what you want to hear.

467
00:18:40,085 --> 00:18:42,365
They're going to tell you what
they think you need to hear.

468
00:18:42,825 --> 00:18:46,965
Uh, so I, I'd be careful putting
my personal life out on, on

469
00:18:47,325 --> 00:18:48,205
- Facebook. Oh, man. Yeah.

470
00:18:48,715 --> 00:18:51,125
- Instagram and all
those social media sites.

471
00:18:51,585 --> 00:18:53,845
- And this world's just
inundating us with bad advice,

472
00:18:53,845 --> 00:18:54,845
like you said about the, you know,

473
00:18:55,105 --> 00:18:56,685
follow your heart garbage.

474
00:18:57,185 --> 00:19:00,005
Uh, and, and, and on top of that,

475
00:19:00,145 --> 00:19:04,245
the boys are getting inundated
with sexual promiscuity.

476
00:19:04,305 --> 00:19:06,365
Yes, that's right. I mean,
you watch anything on Netflix,

477
00:19:06,705 --> 00:19:08,765
any kind of movie or
any show you watch Yeah.

478
00:19:08,945 --> 00:19:11,005
Sex is no big deal. Yeah. Right.

479
00:19:11,075 --> 00:19:13,645
It's just something people do
and they walk away from. Yeah.

480
00:19:14,025 --> 00:19:15,645
And that's couldn't be further from

481
00:19:15,645 --> 00:19:16,845
- The truth. Amen. Amen.

482
00:19:16,915 --> 00:19:18,605
- It's, it's, it's
something designed by God

483
00:19:18,605 --> 00:19:22,245
where it two people come together
as one in the eyes of God.

484
00:19:22,245 --> 00:19:24,005
That's right. And it's irreversible.

485
00:19:24,185 --> 00:19:25,325
- That's right. Amen.

486
00:19:25,825 --> 00:19:27,325
Uh, and that, you know, and that's one

487
00:19:27,325 --> 00:19:30,045
of the things we did want to
talk about tonight is, is, um,

488
00:19:30,585 --> 00:19:35,355
you know, how do we, how do
we face those things head on,

489
00:19:35,375 --> 00:19:36,675
and how do we turn from it?

490
00:19:36,855 --> 00:19:37,915
You know, when it, when it's,

491
00:19:38,185 --> 00:19:41,995
because sexual temptation
is probably one of the,

492
00:19:42,175 --> 00:19:46,515
the strongest desires that
we have as human beings,

493
00:19:46,975 --> 00:19:49,595
uh, because God did make it for a reason.

494
00:19:49,595 --> 00:19:52,155
Yeah. And it's a beautiful
thing inside of marriage

495
00:19:52,155 --> 00:19:56,795
with a man and a woman, but it
is not what God intended for

496
00:19:57,265 --> 00:19:58,355
outside of marriage.

497
00:19:58,655 --> 00:20:02,995
And so when we, when, when that
takes place in, in, outside

498
00:20:02,995 --> 00:20:06,595
of marriage, you would
not believe the baggage

499
00:20:07,185 --> 00:20:09,035
that you carry into a marriage.

500
00:20:09,045 --> 00:20:11,875
Right. You may not even marry
that person that you had

501
00:20:11,875 --> 00:20:14,395
that sexual relationship
with, or you may, but,

502
00:20:14,535 --> 00:20:18,715
but the baggage that you take
that ends up coming up later,

503
00:20:18,975 --> 00:20:21,315
you know, that causes
issues and problems later.

504
00:20:21,975 --> 00:20:26,715
Uh, not to mention the
fact of, um, being able to,

505
00:20:27,175 --> 00:20:29,235
to see her, to see him for the first time

506
00:20:29,245 --> 00:20:30,675
after that wedding night too.

507
00:20:30,675 --> 00:20:33,195
Yeah. To, to make that
something that's intimate and,

508
00:20:33,195 --> 00:20:36,435
and make that something
that's godly, uh, that that,

509
00:20:36,435 --> 00:20:37,595
that he gave to us.

510
00:20:37,735 --> 00:20:39,995
You know, um, not only for pleasure,

511
00:20:40,015 --> 00:20:43,035
but for, uh, being able to, to reproduce.

512
00:20:43,165 --> 00:20:47,605
Right. Uh, so, uh, one
Corinthians chapter six, I I,

513
00:20:47,635 --> 00:20:50,525
I've got a few verses here
I wanna read, uh, that,

514
00:20:50,525 --> 00:20:53,565
that warn us of, of fornication
and sex outside marriage.

515
00:20:53,945 --> 00:20:56,725
Uh, but one Corinthians chapter
six, verse 18 through 20,

516
00:20:57,635 --> 00:20:59,525
flee fornication every sin

517
00:20:59,525 --> 00:21:01,085
that a man doeth is without the body,

518
00:21:01,345 --> 00:21:02,965
but he that committed fornication,

519
00:21:03,155 --> 00:21:05,245
sinneth against his own body.

520
00:21:05,915 --> 00:21:08,525
What know you not that
your body is the temple

521
00:21:08,525 --> 00:21:12,885
of the Holy Ghost, which
is in you, which you have

522
00:21:12,985 --> 00:21:16,165
of God, and you are not
your own, for you are bought

523
00:21:16,165 --> 00:21:19,765
with a price, therefore
glorify God in your body

524
00:21:20,145 --> 00:21:22,485
and in your spirit, which are God's.

525
00:21:23,105 --> 00:21:26,485
So one thing we need to think
about is if you're saved,

526
00:21:26,585 --> 00:21:28,365
if you know Jesus Christ as your Lord

527
00:21:28,365 --> 00:21:30,125
and Savior, you've gotta think about

528
00:21:30,125 --> 00:21:31,165
where you're taking him.

529
00:21:31,255 --> 00:21:32,885
Right? Yeah. And the things that, that,

530
00:21:32,885 --> 00:21:34,405
that you're taking place in

531
00:21:34,405 --> 00:21:37,365
or taking part in where he's always there.

532
00:21:38,025 --> 00:21:41,445
Um, so, so we see flee fornication

533
00:21:41,545 --> 00:21:44,365
and then, uh, Matthew 1519, for out

534
00:21:44,365 --> 00:21:46,925
of the heart proceed evil
thoughts, murders, adulteries,

535
00:21:47,795 --> 00:21:51,205
fornication, thefts,
false witness blasphemies.

536
00:21:51,215 --> 00:21:54,125
Again, those are things that
come outta the heart Yeah.

537
00:21:54,235 --> 00:21:56,445
That everyone's telling you to follow.

538
00:21:56,635 --> 00:21:58,325
- Yeah, exactly. And I, I got one too.

539
00:21:58,505 --> 00:21:59,845
And you know, it, I honestly,

540
00:21:59,845 --> 00:22:01,685
it just came up in our last Sunday school

541
00:22:01,945 --> 00:22:03,245
lesson, uh, this past Sunday.

542
00:22:03,305 --> 00:22:04,925
And it is at, of First Thessalonians four.

543
00:22:04,945 --> 00:22:08,045
But it, it tells you exactly
what the will of God is.

544
00:22:08,045 --> 00:22:10,685
And he said, he says in, uh,
first Thessalonians four,

545
00:22:11,005 --> 00:22:13,005
starting at verse three,
for this is the will of God,

546
00:22:13,475 --> 00:22:15,325
your sanctification, that

547
00:22:15,325 --> 00:22:18,925
as you abstain from sexual
am immorality, that each

548
00:22:18,925 --> 00:22:22,085
of you know how to possess his
own vessel and sanctification

549
00:22:22,105 --> 00:22:25,005
and honor not in lustful
passion like the Gentiles

550
00:22:25,005 --> 00:22:26,045
who do not know God.

551
00:22:26,665 --> 00:22:28,325
And that no man transgression

552
00:22:28,325 --> 00:22:29,565
defraud his brother in the matter.

553
00:22:30,125 --> 00:22:31,605
'cause the Lord is the
avenger in all these things.

554
00:22:31,605 --> 00:22:33,045
Just as we also told you before,

555
00:22:33,045 --> 00:22:35,685
and solemnly warned you,
for God has not called us

556
00:22:36,945 --> 00:22:39,685
for the purpose of impurity,
but in sanctification.

557
00:22:40,185 --> 00:22:42,485
So He, he rejects this
is not rejecting man,

558
00:22:42,485 --> 00:22:44,445
but the God who gives
His Holy Spirit to you.

559
00:22:44,635 --> 00:22:47,725
Amen. And that's a
powerful word for all men.

560
00:22:47,905 --> 00:22:49,765
Yes, I know that. You know, 'cause

561
00:22:50,005 --> 00:22:51,565
'cause the stuff we're
getting from the world

562
00:22:51,565 --> 00:22:53,205
around us is saying just the opposite.

563
00:22:55,105 --> 00:22:57,125
- And, and another thing
that I think we need

564
00:22:57,125 --> 00:23:00,365
to talk about too is, is,
uh, being unequally yoked.

565
00:23:00,435 --> 00:23:04,485
Yeah, yeah. You know, unbelievers
with, uh, with believers,

566
00:23:05,225 --> 00:23:09,565
and of course, um, the word of
God tells us, you know, that,

567
00:23:09,565 --> 00:23:11,805
that we're not to be a
second Corinthians six 14,

568
00:23:12,505 --> 00:23:14,525
be you not unequally yoked together

569
00:23:14,525 --> 00:23:16,445
with unbelievers for what?

570
00:23:16,445 --> 00:23:19,005
Fellowship path, righteousness
with unrighteousness

571
00:23:19,025 --> 00:23:21,805
and what communion path
light with darkness.

572
00:23:22,705 --> 00:23:25,365
And I'm gonna take that a
step further. Uh, of course.

573
00:23:25,585 --> 00:23:28,565
Um, definitely, uh, if
you're, if you're looking

574
00:23:28,625 --> 00:23:31,765
to marry someone and,
and, and that person, he

575
00:23:31,765 --> 00:23:33,285
or she is lost

576
00:23:33,465 --> 00:23:37,565
and they have never been
saved, uh, then, uh, don't,

577
00:23:37,895 --> 00:23:39,405
don't go into that relationship.

578
00:23:39,665 --> 00:23:42,125
I'm telling you right
now, do not do that. No.

579
00:23:42,265 --> 00:23:44,125
Um, and we have further instruction

580
00:23:44,145 --> 00:23:45,285
if we're already in that.

581
00:23:45,385 --> 00:23:46,885
And that's a, and that's an issue.

582
00:23:46,905 --> 00:23:48,725
But we can talk about
that during the marriage,

583
00:23:49,665 --> 00:23:50,925
but don't go into that

584
00:23:51,635 --> 00:23:53,805
because I'm telling you, one

585
00:23:53,805 --> 00:23:57,725
of you is either gonna be
pulled into, uh, church

586
00:23:57,825 --> 00:23:59,485
or the other one's gonna
be pulled away from church.

587
00:23:59,485 --> 00:24:02,845
And so many times it's
not a chance that you want

588
00:24:02,845 --> 00:24:04,605
to take so many times.

589
00:24:05,185 --> 00:24:08,365
It ends up being, uh, the,
the worst of the worst that,

590
00:24:08,365 --> 00:24:10,525
that they pull you out of church. Right.

591
00:24:10,705 --> 00:24:12,085
- And so, well, and it's so much easier.

592
00:24:12,945 --> 00:24:15,685
Uh, the, the example we
were always given in school,

593
00:24:16,625 --> 00:24:19,285
if you're up on a ladder,
it's a lot easier for somebody

594
00:24:19,285 --> 00:24:21,405
to walk up and yank you off
that ladder than it is for you

595
00:24:21,405 --> 00:24:22,845
to pull them up after you.

596
00:24:22,875 --> 00:24:24,125
Yeah, that's right. And it's the

597
00:24:24,125 --> 00:24:25,205
same way with our Christian walk.

598
00:24:25,215 --> 00:24:28,165
We're having to hold ourselves
to a higher standard. Yes.

599
00:24:28,165 --> 00:24:31,125
Because God's told us this
is the standard. Right? Yeah.

600
00:24:31,185 --> 00:24:33,365
And we're supposed to hold
ourselves to that. Right? Yeah.

601
00:24:33,465 --> 00:24:36,085
And the world standard
is way down here. Yeah.

602
00:24:36,085 --> 00:24:38,605
Because it's pretty much do
whatever you feel. That's right.

603
00:24:38,605 --> 00:24:41,205
It's a lot easier to get
pulled down than it is

604
00:24:41,205 --> 00:24:42,685
to drag somebody up with you.

605
00:24:42,685 --> 00:24:46,605
That's right. And it's
so, it's so easy, again,

606
00:24:46,605 --> 00:24:50,165
because people are trained,
they're taught in the world

607
00:24:50,795 --> 00:24:53,525
that when it comes to dating, you're going

608
00:24:53,545 --> 00:24:55,125
to present yourself a certain way.

609
00:24:55,125 --> 00:24:57,165
You're gonna say certain
things, you're gonna do

610
00:24:57,195 --> 00:24:59,925
what the person you're
dating expects you to do.

611
00:24:59,995 --> 00:25:01,085
Yeah. To try

612
00:25:01,085 --> 00:25:02,965
and get them to like you
and want to be with you.

613
00:25:02,985 --> 00:25:04,005
That's right. And

614
00:25:04,005 --> 00:25:07,125
because you're presenting that,
oh, yeah, I'm a Christian.

615
00:25:07,705 --> 00:25:09,685
Oh yeah. I go to church.
Oh yeah, I'm saved.

616
00:25:10,995 --> 00:25:13,285
They'll say whatever they
have to say sometimes.

617
00:25:13,305 --> 00:25:15,645
That's right. You have to know how to ask

618
00:25:15,785 --> 00:25:17,445
and be willing to ask.

619
00:25:18,265 --> 00:25:19,765
And hey, that means be willing

620
00:25:19,785 --> 00:25:22,045
to offend him sometimes
on the first date. Yeah.

621
00:25:22,045 --> 00:25:23,205
- Yeah. I remember one of the, one

622
00:25:23,205 --> 00:25:25,445
of the wisest people I
ever met, I guess, uh,

623
00:25:26,125 --> 00:25:29,965
I was probably in, uh, 11th grade

624
00:25:30,065 --> 00:25:32,525
or something like that, you
know, and driving and stuff.

625
00:25:32,525 --> 00:25:34,645
And, and I, and I had kind
of a crush on this girl

626
00:25:35,385 --> 00:25:36,805
as a year behind me in school.

627
00:25:36,985 --> 00:25:38,765
And, uh, I thought she was really pretty.

628
00:25:38,825 --> 00:25:39,925
You know, I don't wanna go out with her.

629
00:25:39,925 --> 00:25:42,325
And I knew, I knew her parents
were religious, you know,

630
00:25:42,325 --> 00:25:44,565
and I knew that, that she was, yeah.

631
00:25:44,825 --> 00:25:46,885
And I was far, far from God.

632
00:25:47,145 --> 00:25:49,525
And, and I was talking nice to her,

633
00:25:49,525 --> 00:25:52,445
and I finally asked her
out, and she told me no.

634
00:25:54,585 --> 00:25:57,045
And, and it hurt. Yeah. It hurt.

635
00:25:57,105 --> 00:25:58,885
But I knew I wasn't good enough for her.

636
00:25:59,425 --> 00:26:02,085
And looking back, I know I
was not good enough for her.

637
00:26:02,085 --> 00:26:03,925
Yeah. I was not in the
right place for her.

638
00:26:03,985 --> 00:26:05,365
And she was wise enough to say

639
00:26:05,465 --> 00:26:06,465
- No.

640
00:26:06,465 --> 00:26:07,285
Yeah. Amen. Amen.

641
00:26:08,025 --> 00:26:10,045
And parents, I think that responsibility

642
00:26:10,045 --> 00:26:11,405
falls on us, you know?

643
00:26:11,405 --> 00:26:12,565
Yeah, I do. And

644
00:26:12,565 --> 00:26:14,525
and that's something I
do want to talk about is

645
00:26:14,525 --> 00:26:17,645
what parents can do, uh,
to help this situation out.

646
00:26:17,665 --> 00:26:22,185
But, um, when we are unequally yoked,

647
00:26:22,385 --> 00:26:25,465
I only take it a little
step further than that, uh,

648
00:26:25,465 --> 00:26:27,865
the Bible's talking about
believers with unbelievers,

649
00:26:28,645 --> 00:26:31,585
but there also are some major issues.

650
00:26:31,805 --> 00:26:33,705
If you're dating someone that's outside

651
00:26:33,705 --> 00:26:34,825
of your religious belief.

652
00:26:35,175 --> 00:26:37,905
Yeah. You know, you can,
uh, there there can be

653
00:26:37,905 --> 00:26:39,105
so much confusion.

654
00:26:39,325 --> 00:26:42,145
And again, like, like Tyler
was giving the example a minute

655
00:26:42,145 --> 00:26:43,605
ago, it's easier to, um,

656
00:26:44,595 --> 00:26:46,325
push someone off a ladder than it is

657
00:26:46,325 --> 00:26:47,525
to pull someone up a ladder.

658
00:26:47,985 --> 00:26:49,045
Uh, and, and so,

659
00:26:49,225 --> 00:26:52,645
and so those, those religious
beliefs that you have, um,

660
00:26:52,915 --> 00:26:57,125
even, even though they may be,
um, inside of what we call,

661
00:26:57,305 --> 00:27:00,605
uh, Christianity, uh,
sometimes they can really be

662
00:27:00,865 --> 00:27:02,285
so distant from each other.

663
00:27:02,345 --> 00:27:03,605
And some of the things that we,

664
00:27:03,825 --> 00:27:05,685
the way we interpret scripture

665
00:27:05,785 --> 00:27:07,645
and those types of things, uh,

666
00:27:07,645 --> 00:27:09,525
that they can be a real issue or problem.

667
00:27:09,665 --> 00:27:11,605
And one of, you're going to
have to, if you're gonna go

668
00:27:11,605 --> 00:27:14,085
to church together, uh, one
of, you're going to have

669
00:27:14,085 --> 00:27:15,285
to, you know, give in.

670
00:27:15,905 --> 00:27:18,765
And then I've seen couples get married,

671
00:27:19,505 --> 00:27:22,685
and either one of them
doesn't go to church at all,

672
00:27:23,185 --> 00:27:25,365
or they, some of them go
to two different churches.

673
00:27:25,545 --> 00:27:27,645
And that's not what
God meant for us to do.

674
00:27:27,645 --> 00:27:30,845
No, no, man, I I, the, one
of my most favorite things

675
00:27:30,945 --> 00:27:32,765
to do is to worship with my wife.

676
00:27:32,995 --> 00:27:35,605
Yeah. And when I see, uh, when I see that

677
00:27:35,605 --> 00:27:38,085
that beautiful hand lift up, and,

678
00:27:38,105 --> 00:27:40,605
and I, I see those tears in her eyes,

679
00:27:40,625 --> 00:27:43,325
and I see her just, just loving Jesus.

680
00:27:43,985 --> 00:27:45,565
Oh man. I fall more in love

681
00:27:45,565 --> 00:27:46,965
with her than I ever have before.

682
00:27:47,235 --> 00:27:49,805
Yeah. There's something about that.

683
00:27:50,305 --> 00:27:53,565
And, and, and so I think for
both sides, you know? Yeah,

684
00:27:53,675 --> 00:27:54,675
- Yeah.

685
00:27:54,675 --> 00:27:55,565
I, I'm the same way. I, I love

686
00:27:55,565 --> 00:27:57,325
to see her hand go up in church, boy,

687
00:27:57,325 --> 00:27:58,765
it's like, oh, yeah, yeah.

688
00:27:59,085 --> 00:28:02,285
- <laugh>. So, so we
do, we gotta be careful.

689
00:28:02,425 --> 00:28:03,845
We gotta be careful with, um,

690
00:28:03,985 --> 00:28:05,525
and make sure that we're like-minded.

691
00:28:05,715 --> 00:28:08,565
Make sure that we're like-minded
in, in, in what we're, uh,

692
00:28:09,035 --> 00:28:11,085
what we perceive and what we interpret

693
00:28:11,385 --> 00:28:12,385
- What's, what's key.

694
00:28:12,385 --> 00:28:13,965
Right. I mean, if, if we can't pray

695
00:28:13,965 --> 00:28:16,405
and worship together in a common way, that

696
00:28:16,405 --> 00:28:17,565
that's trouble at home Yeah.

697
00:28:17,615 --> 00:28:18,805
Later, you know? That's right.

698
00:28:18,825 --> 00:28:21,565
And, and I would, I would
encourage young people

699
00:28:21,585 --> 00:28:23,325
who are dating, or older people

700
00:28:23,325 --> 00:28:25,005
who are dating, pray together.

701
00:28:25,765 --> 00:28:28,125
Absolutely. Pray together and
worship together, you know,

702
00:28:28,265 --> 00:28:30,765
and get in touch with Jesus.
It'll draw you closer.

703
00:28:31,195 --> 00:28:32,605
- Amen. Amen.
- It has to.

704
00:28:32,785 --> 00:28:34,965
And, and, and that's one of
the hardest things to do,

705
00:28:35,175 --> 00:28:38,325
especially starting out when
you first, first date somebody,

706
00:28:38,445 --> 00:28:42,205
I guess is, uh, and even as
an older believer, is to pray

707
00:28:42,205 --> 00:28:43,205
with somebody right.

708
00:28:43,305 --> 00:28:45,925
Out loud, you know?
But listen, young guys,

709
00:28:46,465 --> 00:28:47,645
you're gonna be the leader here.

710
00:28:47,835 --> 00:28:50,285
Yeah. And it's on you.
That's right. Right.

711
00:28:50,385 --> 00:28:52,765
And, and these teenage
boys need to step up.

712
00:28:52,915 --> 00:28:54,005
They need to step up early.

713
00:28:54,435 --> 00:28:56,765
- Amen. Amen. That's exactly right.

714
00:28:56,955 --> 00:29:00,405
- Yeah. - Uh, because because
we, and, and then that,

715
00:29:00,405 --> 00:29:02,765
and that falls back not
only on us as parents,

716
00:29:02,905 --> 00:29:05,405
but it also falls back
on, on us as a church.

717
00:29:05,555 --> 00:29:07,765
Yeah. Because we should
be discipling these young

718
00:29:07,785 --> 00:29:08,845
men right now.

719
00:29:08,995 --> 00:29:11,085
Yeah. Right now, teaching them.

720
00:29:11,945 --> 00:29:13,125
And, and the biggest way

721
00:29:13,125 --> 00:29:14,765
that we can teach them is by example.

722
00:29:14,895 --> 00:29:16,845
Right? Oh, yeah. Especially you dads.

723
00:29:17,625 --> 00:29:19,965
Um, one of, one of the things that, and,

724
00:29:19,985 --> 00:29:23,685
and, you know, we, I haven't
got there yet, uh, tonight,

725
00:29:23,745 --> 00:29:25,485
but, but I'm gonna go
ahead and bring it up now,

726
00:29:26,145 --> 00:29:28,885
but what can you do as parents?

727
00:29:29,065 --> 00:29:31,925
You know, what can you do to prevent, uh,

728
00:29:32,305 --> 00:29:33,565
the sexual immorality?

729
00:29:33,635 --> 00:29:36,925
What can you do to prevent
them from hitting a brick wall?

730
00:29:37,025 --> 00:29:38,965
You know, what can you do
if you're warning them?

731
00:29:39,105 --> 00:29:43,045
And, and how avid do you
need to be? You know?

732
00:29:43,245 --> 00:29:46,085
'cause there is a point. Sometimes
I think you can drive 'em

733
00:29:46,085 --> 00:29:48,685
away, but, but we have
to be careful in that.

734
00:29:48,685 --> 00:29:50,405
But one of the biggest ways that we can do

735
00:29:50,405 --> 00:29:51,605
that is husband and wife.

736
00:29:51,625 --> 00:29:53,205
If you're, if you're a husband and wife,

737
00:29:53,205 --> 00:29:57,285
and you're together,
show your kids what it is

738
00:29:57,545 --> 00:29:59,725
to be in love and to date.

739
00:29:59,875 --> 00:30:01,725
Yeah. Show them I, I, and,

740
00:30:01,825 --> 00:30:04,685
and by say, showing them, I say, be loving

741
00:30:04,685 --> 00:30:07,085
around each other, you know,
I would kiss Nicole, not,

742
00:30:07,105 --> 00:30:08,845
not anything inappropriate, but Yeah.

743
00:30:08,845 --> 00:30:10,165
But in front of the kids, you know,

744
00:30:10,165 --> 00:30:11,765
and when they were little, it was, oh God,

745
00:30:11,825 --> 00:30:13,325
you know, oh, my <laugh>.

746
00:30:13,345 --> 00:30:16,885
But, but as they grew up,
I, I wanted to, I wanted

747
00:30:16,885 --> 00:30:20,445
to set the bar high for my
girls, you know, I, I wanted

748
00:30:20,445 --> 00:30:23,165
to set the standard so that
when they started looking

749
00:30:23,265 --> 00:30:27,885
for a young man or a young man
came their way, my hope was,

750
00:30:28,225 --> 00:30:30,045
and it doesn't always work out that way,

751
00:30:30,065 --> 00:30:33,285
but my hope was always that
they would, they would look for,

752
00:30:33,665 --> 00:30:36,925
Hey, you know, does he
open the door for me?

753
00:30:36,925 --> 00:30:40,485
Does he treat me like dad
treats mom? You know? Yeah.

754
00:30:40,705 --> 00:30:44,245
And then mothers to get
the same thing from you.

755
00:30:44,315 --> 00:30:45,925
Like, you know, how are you treat,

756
00:30:45,925 --> 00:30:49,885
you're teaching your
young ladies how to, uh,

757
00:30:49,905 --> 00:30:51,125
to treat that young man.

758
00:30:51,345 --> 00:30:54,005
And if you're, if you're
degrading your husband,

759
00:30:54,185 --> 00:30:55,325
if you're making fun of him

760
00:30:55,325 --> 00:30:56,845
and putting him down all
the time, guess what?

761
00:30:56,945 --> 00:30:59,205
That's what those young ladies
are gonna do too. That's,

762
00:30:59,355 --> 00:31:00,355
- Yeah.

763
00:31:00,355 --> 00:31:00,685
It is. It is.

764
00:31:00,805 --> 00:31:03,165
I say, I think it's super
important, super important.

765
00:31:03,505 --> 00:31:05,205
And we, yeah.

766
00:31:06,865 --> 00:31:10,965
- So, so we give that
example and we, um, and,

767
00:31:10,965 --> 00:31:13,605
and we live it out in front of them.

768
00:31:14,145 --> 00:31:16,365
And I, I'll tell you some
things, if my girls were here,

769
00:31:16,365 --> 00:31:18,925
they would ha they would,
they would back this up.

770
00:31:18,945 --> 00:31:22,965
And, um, I'll say this, parents,

771
00:31:23,025 --> 00:31:25,805
you can do everything within your power.

772
00:31:26,015 --> 00:31:27,605
Right. And within the Lord's power,

773
00:31:27,875 --> 00:31:29,325
then you just gotta pray with 'em.

774
00:31:29,385 --> 00:31:31,205
And, you know, you gotta
pray for 'em. Yeah.

775
00:31:31,205 --> 00:31:33,525
Because as soon as they drive
out of that driveway with

776
00:31:33,525 --> 00:31:36,325
that young man, as soon as they
leave with that young lady,

777
00:31:36,705 --> 00:31:39,885
you're not gonna be able to be
there every step of the way.

778
00:31:40,145 --> 00:31:43,125
You know, I, I didn't let my
girls date until they were 16.

779
00:31:43,905 --> 00:31:46,205
And, uh, and you know, parents,

780
00:31:46,205 --> 00:31:47,605
that's, that's something that's up to you.

781
00:31:47,605 --> 00:31:49,445
I'm not saying you've got
to do it like we did it,

782
00:31:49,445 --> 00:31:51,805
but we didn't let our girls
date until they were 16.

783
00:31:52,385 --> 00:31:54,045
Um, and if I'd had anything

784
00:31:54,045 --> 00:31:55,325
to do with it, it would've been 20.

785
00:31:55,465 --> 00:31:58,565
But <laugh>. But, um, another thing,

786
00:31:58,915 --> 00:32:03,245
when young men would come
to our house, my girls knew,

787
00:32:03,745 --> 00:32:06,805
and, and those young men had
to know that they were going

788
00:32:06,805 --> 00:32:08,005
to respect my house.

789
00:32:08,215 --> 00:32:09,525
Right. I, I, you know,

790
00:32:09,525 --> 00:32:11,765
laying all over each other,
all that kind of thing.

791
00:32:11,995 --> 00:32:13,365
It's not good. 'cause if you're,

792
00:32:13,365 --> 00:32:15,685
if you're letting it go
on there, you can be sure

793
00:32:15,685 --> 00:32:17,565
that it's gonna go on
outside of your house.

794
00:32:18,225 --> 00:32:21,045
Uh, they never stepped
foot into their bedrooms.

795
00:32:21,245 --> 00:32:25,845
I never let a young man go
into my daughter's bedroom and,

796
00:32:25,845 --> 00:32:27,285
and hang out in their bedroom.

797
00:32:27,945 --> 00:32:31,085
Uh, even if, you know, some
parents say, well, they go,

798
00:32:31,085 --> 00:32:33,245
they go in the bedroom, but
they leave the door open.

799
00:32:33,435 --> 00:32:37,445
Well, you know, again, there,
I'm not parenting your kids,

800
00:32:37,545 --> 00:32:40,845
but I wanted to make sure
that there was absolutely, uh,

801
00:32:41,235 --> 00:32:42,965
nothing that could happen under,

802
00:32:43,255 --> 00:32:45,005
under my watch care while I was there,

803
00:32:45,005 --> 00:32:46,965
because I know, again, I'm not naive

804
00:32:47,105 --> 00:32:50,285
and I know that things can
happen outside of my wife

805
00:32:50,285 --> 00:32:51,885
and I, uh, our, our vision.

806
00:32:52,265 --> 00:32:55,285
But, uh, uh, while
they're under my rooftop,

807
00:32:55,435 --> 00:32:57,605
then I wanna make sure that, uh, that,

808
00:32:57,875 --> 00:32:59,085
that they're honoring the

809
00:32:59,085 --> 00:33:00,085
- Lord.

810
00:33:00,085 --> 00:33:01,205
Yeah. You, you have to, you have to.

811
00:33:01,225 --> 00:33:05,045
And it's, it's not, it's not
a gestapo thing, right? Yeah.

812
00:33:05,235 --> 00:33:06,805
It's, you care for 'em. You do.

813
00:33:06,945 --> 00:33:08,845
You care for 'em, and you
want the best for your girls.

814
00:33:08,985 --> 00:33:11,765
And, and, and we want the
best for our boys, and

815
00:33:11,765 --> 00:33:14,645
and our boys are sometimes
uncontrollable in that regard.

816
00:33:14,645 --> 00:33:16,325
Right. We've all been boys <laugh>. Yeah.

817
00:33:17,555 --> 00:33:21,325
- Because it, it goes back
to the, to the whole, um,

818
00:33:21,385 --> 00:33:23,125
you know, sexual immorality thing.

819
00:33:23,185 --> 00:33:26,245
And, and, and guys, I'll tell you this.

820
00:33:26,945 --> 00:33:30,685
Um, I see it a lot of times
outta young ladies too.

821
00:33:30,885 --> 00:33:32,365
I mean, my daughters told me some stories

822
00:33:32,365 --> 00:33:35,565
and some things growing up
and, and girls sat in school

823
00:33:35,585 --> 00:33:37,925
and talked about in
school where, you know,

824
00:33:37,925 --> 00:33:39,285
it's a different day and it's a

825
00:33:39,285 --> 00:33:40,485
different time that we live in.

826
00:33:40,505 --> 00:33:43,085
And so you have to watch out on both sides

827
00:33:43,085 --> 00:33:46,365
because, you know, there's
things that when you start dating

828
00:33:46,515 --> 00:33:49,525
that guy, you start dating
that girl, there's some things

829
00:33:49,525 --> 00:33:52,605
that you might hear, you
know, like, it's okay.

830
00:33:52,985 --> 00:33:54,365
We love each other. Yeah.

831
00:33:54,425 --> 00:33:56,325
You know, we're, we're,
we're, we're in love.

832
00:33:56,505 --> 00:33:59,245
Or it, it's just this one time, you know,

833
00:33:59,275 --> 00:34:00,445
it's not that big a deal.

834
00:34:01,105 --> 00:34:04,205
Or, or, or, we can do this
and, and we can do this thing

835
00:34:04,205 --> 00:34:07,165
or that thing, and it's not
really considered sex, you know,

836
00:34:07,665 --> 00:34:11,805
and, and, or, or we're
going to get married anyway,

837
00:34:11,945 --> 00:34:13,245
so, so what does it matter?

838
00:34:13,345 --> 00:34:15,765
You know? Those are some
of the things that that,

839
00:34:15,795 --> 00:34:17,285
that your children are going to hear

840
00:34:17,285 --> 00:34:18,445
that you probably heard.

841
00:34:19,465 --> 00:34:21,205
And, uh, and some things you better,

842
00:34:21,665 --> 00:34:23,605
you better look at as a red flag.

843
00:34:23,785 --> 00:34:25,125
- Oh, they're big red flags. Right.

844
00:34:25,235 --> 00:34:27,405
They, they show where,
where somebody's focus is.

845
00:34:27,505 --> 00:34:28,965
That's right. Right. That's right.

846
00:34:29,025 --> 00:34:31,285
And, and if, if, if a boy's focus is in

847
00:34:31,285 --> 00:34:32,325
the right place Yeah.

848
00:34:32,375 --> 00:34:33,925
He'll be trying to
protect her. That's right.

849
00:34:33,925 --> 00:34:35,965
He'll be trying to protect
that part of her. That's right.

850
00:34:36,425 --> 00:34:39,125
And and not just for himself,
but for the Lord. That's

851
00:34:39,125 --> 00:34:40,125
- Right.

852
00:34:40,125 --> 00:34:41,965
- Amen. And, and that's,
it's, I don't know.

853
00:34:42,085 --> 00:34:45,885
I just, I, I'm, I'm, I don't
know, pessimistic, I guess,

854
00:34:46,025 --> 00:34:49,285
but I just don't think there's
much of that around anymore.

855
00:34:49,545 --> 00:34:51,685
- No, no.
- You know, it's sad.

856
00:34:51,795 --> 00:34:52,925
It's a sad state of the times.

857
00:34:53,025 --> 00:34:55,565
And, and, and it's part of
our just being inundated

858
00:34:55,565 --> 00:34:57,125
with all this filth from every

859
00:34:57,125 --> 00:34:58,205
direction. Yeah. You know? Yeah.

860
00:34:58,515 --> 00:35:02,325
- It's being inundated with
the filth and it's being shown,

861
00:35:02,555 --> 00:35:05,325
because you gotta remember
the world shows us what

862
00:35:05,995 --> 00:35:07,325
love looks like.

863
00:35:07,475 --> 00:35:08,685
Yeah. And our listeners can't

864
00:35:08,685 --> 00:35:09,725
tell I'm air quoting right now.

865
00:35:09,725 --> 00:35:11,805
Yeah, yeah. What love looks like. Right.

866
00:35:11,865 --> 00:35:14,125
And what they show us doesn't match the

867
00:35:14,285 --> 00:35:15,325
biblical definition of love.

868
00:35:15,435 --> 00:35:18,285
- Exactly. - The best definition
I ever heard was from,

869
00:35:18,405 --> 00:35:19,965
I think it was Josh McDowell said,

870
00:35:20,305 --> 00:35:24,165
to love someone means you
are going to provide for

871
00:35:25,065 --> 00:35:28,045
and protect their physical, spiritual,

872
00:35:28,045 --> 00:35:30,285
and emotional growth and wellbeing.

873
00:35:30,315 --> 00:35:32,405
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And if you're protecting

874
00:35:32,405 --> 00:35:35,605
and providing for that, I mean,
it just changes everything.

875
00:35:35,605 --> 00:35:36,845
There's a whole host of things

876
00:35:36,845 --> 00:35:38,450
- That you're like, well,
that's off the table.

877
00:35:38,875 --> 00:35:42,165
Yeah. And, and biblically
love is always a sacrifice

878
00:35:42,165 --> 00:35:43,725
of something of mine for somebody else.

879
00:35:43,915 --> 00:35:47,885
Yeah. Right. And if I'm
sacrificing my desires Yes.

880
00:35:47,985 --> 00:35:50,605
And my passions for that
other person, that's love.

881
00:35:50,995 --> 00:35:52,725
- Yeah. Yeah.
- And that's biblical love.

882
00:35:53,085 --> 00:35:54,165
- Absolutely. Absolutely.

883
00:35:55,225 --> 00:35:57,085
And, and some of the
things, you know, that you,

884
00:35:57,085 --> 00:35:58,845
that we've gotta think about to prevent

885
00:35:58,845 --> 00:36:01,725
that is not putting yourself in a place

886
00:36:01,735 --> 00:36:03,645
where you're gonna be compromised.

887
00:36:03,645 --> 00:36:07,485
Right. You know, um, if, if
you, if you'll date smart,

888
00:36:08,145 --> 00:36:11,165
if you will, if you'll think
about this, if you'll, uh,

889
00:36:11,525 --> 00:36:14,645
I always, I I've send a
picture to the girls and, uh,

890
00:36:14,645 --> 00:36:16,285
and I'd say, uh, Hey, uh,

891
00:36:16,315 --> 00:36:18,165
anytime you think
something's gonna happen,

892
00:36:18,265 --> 00:36:20,365
you just look at this picture
to be my face, you know,

893
00:36:20,645 --> 00:36:22,565
- <laugh> or your big
- Toe or something.

894
00:36:22,675 --> 00:36:24,645
Well, I, and I've sent him
a picture of Jesus too.

895
00:36:24,845 --> 00:36:28,165
I mean, I <laugh>, I mean, I,
I do whatever it takes, but,

896
00:36:29,305 --> 00:36:32,045
but, you know, not putting
yourself in the right place,

897
00:36:32,225 --> 00:36:34,685
you know, not, not parking in those places

898
00:36:34,735 --> 00:36:37,925
where no one else is around,
you know, not, uh, not,

899
00:36:38,025 --> 00:36:40,685
not tucking yourself away in
the back of the movie theater.

900
00:36:41,065 --> 00:36:45,205
You know, not, um, hey, you
may be dating someone and,

901
00:36:45,265 --> 00:36:48,165
and her parents don't let her, uh, take

902
00:36:48,165 --> 00:36:49,285
that guy in her bedroom

903
00:36:49,505 --> 00:36:51,965
or sit in their bedroom,
even the door open or closed.

904
00:36:52,505 --> 00:36:55,085
But you may go to his house,
or you may go to her house,

905
00:36:55,105 --> 00:36:56,445
and it may be a different story.

906
00:36:56,555 --> 00:36:59,205
Yeah. You know, you've got to take

907
00:36:59,275 --> 00:37:02,805
what God has instilled in you,
those morals, those values,

908
00:37:03,425 --> 00:37:05,845
and most of all that spirituality.

909
00:37:05,845 --> 00:37:06,965
Right? Yeah. I mean,

910
00:37:06,965 --> 00:37:10,765
because, uh, you know,
everybody's got, uh, somewhat

911
00:37:10,865 --> 00:37:12,045
of a moral coat.

912
00:37:12,585 --> 00:37:15,765
But if you're saved, you
have the Holy Spirit of God

913
00:37:15,765 --> 00:37:18,565
that lives inside you, who's
leading you and guiding you

914
00:37:18,565 --> 00:37:21,365
and directing you in every
way that you should go.

915
00:37:21,945 --> 00:37:24,925
And no, we're not always gonna
make the right decision. No.

916
00:37:24,925 --> 00:37:26,405
We're, yes, we're gonna mess up.

917
00:37:26,905 --> 00:37:30,805
Uh, but, but not putting
ourselves in a compromising

918
00:37:31,045 --> 00:37:34,725
position is a, is a great start to make it

919
00:37:34,725 --> 00:37:35,845
through those dating years,

920
00:37:36,465 --> 00:37:40,045
and then be able to really enjoy
those married years the way

921
00:37:40,045 --> 00:37:41,605
that the Lord intended for us to. Right.

922
00:37:41,605 --> 00:37:45,965
- Right, right. And it's, it
kinda all comes back to what,

923
00:37:45,965 --> 00:37:47,845
what's in your, your, your, your,

924
00:37:47,945 --> 00:37:49,565
the person you're dating,
what's in your heart.

925
00:37:49,565 --> 00:37:52,605
Right. And that's, that's
where we really gotta focus in

926
00:37:52,605 --> 00:37:55,045
and say, limit your dating pool.

927
00:37:55,225 --> 00:37:58,125
That's right. Right. Find
a young man that is on fire

928
00:37:58,145 --> 00:38:00,645
for God, and that is wanting
to follow Jesus Christ

929
00:38:00,665 --> 00:38:01,925
and is following Jesus Christ.

930
00:38:02,145 --> 00:38:04,445
And for young men, find a girl like that.

931
00:38:04,625 --> 00:38:06,845
And that's probably easier
for a young man to do than me,

932
00:38:06,905 --> 00:38:08,405
uh, for a girl to do these days.

933
00:38:08,425 --> 00:38:11,125
That's right. But that's
where it all centers down on.

934
00:38:11,225 --> 00:38:13,405
And you don't want a long-term
relationship with somebody

935
00:38:13,405 --> 00:38:15,205
that's not trying to follow Jesus Christ.

936
00:38:15,225 --> 00:38:17,805
That's right. He's gonna throw
up all kinds of red flags,

937
00:38:17,805 --> 00:38:19,725
and you're gonna end up in a big pool

938
00:38:19,725 --> 00:38:20,805
of regret. That's right.

939
00:38:20,945 --> 00:38:23,645
- That's - Right. And, and
this is equally true, not just

940
00:38:23,665 --> 00:38:25,405
for, for young people, you know,

941
00:38:25,595 --> 00:38:28,085
they're stating at all
stages of life these days.

942
00:38:28,085 --> 00:38:32,125
Right. Divorce rate's, what,
50, 55% even among Christians.

943
00:38:32,125 --> 00:38:33,965
That's right. Yeah. And unfortunately,

944
00:38:33,965 --> 00:38:36,125
that's the world me and Diane came from.

945
00:38:36,125 --> 00:38:39,725
Yeah. Right. We, we both had
failed marriages and, uh, and,

946
00:38:39,745 --> 00:38:44,325
and, and we met, and man,
God has blessed my socks off.

947
00:38:44,325 --> 00:38:47,565
Yeah. I mean, just an
incredible blessing in my life.

948
00:38:47,705 --> 00:38:50,925
So the good message in
this is that God restores.

949
00:38:51,025 --> 00:38:53,925
That's right. He restores,
we repent, he restores,

950
00:38:53,985 --> 00:38:55,205
he builds things new.

951
00:38:55,785 --> 00:38:58,525
And, but when you're
dating in your forties

952
00:38:59,225 --> 00:39:01,365
or your fifties, it's
a whole different game.

953
00:39:01,595 --> 00:39:04,365
Yeah. All of a sudden, you've
most likely got kids involved.

954
00:39:04,465 --> 00:39:06,765
That's right. Right. And you're
trying to blend families,

955
00:39:06,785 --> 00:39:07,925
and you're trying to do all these things.

956
00:39:07,945 --> 00:39:10,085
And Diane and I had some
difficulties with that. Yeah.

957
00:39:10,085 --> 00:39:12,245
And I, I don't wanna say
more than I ought to.

958
00:39:12,245 --> 00:39:15,045
She might get mad at me, or
my son might get mad at me,

959
00:39:15,065 --> 00:39:16,885
but he, he's probably
not listening anyway.

960
00:39:17,425 --> 00:39:20,685
Uh, <laugh>, I'll send
it to him. That's right.

961
00:39:21,225 --> 00:39:23,045
But, uh, you know, we, we met

962
00:39:23,185 --> 00:39:24,485
and, uh, through a mutual friend,

963
00:39:24,785 --> 00:39:26,085
and I'd had some failed dates.

964
00:39:26,245 --> 00:39:30,365
I mean, I, I, after my
divorce, I, I got ready

965
00:39:30,525 --> 00:39:32,965
to date again and, uh, you
know, I signed up for some

966
00:39:32,965 --> 00:39:34,205
of these online dating services.

967
00:39:34,255 --> 00:39:38,845
Right. Just and Wow. At serial
daters all over the place.

968
00:39:38,845 --> 00:39:40,685
Yeah. They just wanna
date somebody, you know,

969
00:39:40,785 --> 00:39:42,405
and there's promiscuity
all over these things,

970
00:39:42,405 --> 00:39:43,485
even the Christian ones.

971
00:39:43,485 --> 00:39:46,565
Yeah. And, and, uh, finally I
met through a mutual friend,

972
00:39:46,745 --> 00:39:47,925
uh, met Diane.

973
00:39:48,305 --> 00:39:50,325
And, uh, after I begged

974
00:39:50,325 --> 00:39:52,245
and pleaded with her for a
while, she went out with me.

975
00:39:52,315 --> 00:39:54,405
Yeah. But it was, it was just, uh,

976
00:39:55,815 --> 00:39:57,595
so much more wisdom in my forties than,

977
00:39:57,595 --> 00:39:58,915
than I had in, in my teens.

978
00:39:58,915 --> 00:40:01,555
Right. I'd seen red flags all my life.

979
00:40:01,815 --> 00:40:03,995
I'd had problems all my life, you know,

980
00:40:04,015 --> 00:40:06,315
and I'd seen, I knew what
I needed and what I wanted,

981
00:40:06,455 --> 00:40:08,355
and I wanted somebody
that was focused on God.

982
00:40:08,535 --> 00:40:10,075
And Diane was that person. Amen.

983
00:40:10,135 --> 00:40:12,475
And she was pretty, she checked
all the boxes. Right, amen.

984
00:40:12,625 --> 00:40:13,915
Yeah. All the boxes. Yeah.

985
00:40:14,055 --> 00:40:15,715
And so, uh, we didn't date that long,

986
00:40:15,895 --> 00:40:19,835
but when we did, I, I knew, I knew.

987
00:40:20,215 --> 00:40:22,995
And, but the trouble came,
the trouble came with, uh,

988
00:40:23,095 --> 00:40:24,715
we got married and, and I decided

989
00:40:24,715 --> 00:40:26,915
to move down here from my house up there,

990
00:40:27,935 --> 00:40:29,435
and I've got a son,

991
00:40:30,295 --> 00:40:32,395
and he didn't accept it right off the bat.

992
00:40:32,485 --> 00:40:34,475
Right. He didn't like the idea

993
00:40:34,615 --> 00:40:36,435
of somebody else having some of my time.

994
00:40:36,585 --> 00:40:39,115
Yeah. He didn't like the
idea of me being married

995
00:40:39,115 --> 00:40:40,195
to somebody other than his mother.

996
00:40:40,205 --> 00:40:42,355
Right. And it, he was,

997
00:40:42,635 --> 00:40:44,875
I think he was a junior in high
school when we got married,

998
00:40:45,255 --> 00:40:48,315
and it took a long time
for her, him to accept her.

999
00:40:48,495 --> 00:40:50,675
And I prayed, and I prayed, and I prayed.

1000
00:40:51,215 --> 00:40:52,835
And I, I remember one summer,

1001
00:40:52,935 --> 00:40:57,035
or one may in one year,
uh, he, he had been off to,

1002
00:40:57,255 --> 00:41:00,795
to college for a semester and
came home for a summer break,

1003
00:41:01,295 --> 00:41:03,475
and he had a job at a pool up in Trenton.

1004
00:41:04,055 --> 00:41:06,675
And, but he had all of May
off before the pool opened,

1005
00:41:07,255 --> 00:41:08,875
and I unfortunately had

1006
00:41:08,875 --> 00:41:10,755
to go travel just about that whole month.

1007
00:41:10,875 --> 00:41:12,235
I had to travel like every week.

1008
00:41:12,655 --> 00:41:14,395
And I was leaving him alone with her,

1009
00:41:14,495 --> 00:41:16,035
and he stayed at our house the whole time.

1010
00:41:16,305 --> 00:41:18,155
Yeah. And I remember that last week

1011
00:41:18,155 --> 00:41:20,115
that it was like the third
week of May, I came home

1012
00:41:20,815 --> 00:41:22,435
and all of a sudden I saw

1013
00:41:23,885 --> 00:41:25,335
them joking around with each other.

1014
00:41:25,445 --> 00:41:29,295
Yeah. And them, you, you know,
Diane, she'll jab at you.

1015
00:41:29,355 --> 00:41:31,215
You know, she, she,
she's, she's hilarious.

1016
00:41:33,035 --> 00:41:34,245
They were picking on me.

1017
00:41:34,875 --> 00:41:36,885
They were teaming up
and picking on me. Yeah.

1018
00:41:36,885 --> 00:41:37,965
They were, they were laughing

1019
00:41:38,025 --> 00:41:40,165
and getting along better
than I'd ever imagined.

1020
00:41:40,265 --> 00:41:42,965
And I'm like, oh, praise
God. Yeah. Amen. Praise God.

1021
00:41:43,065 --> 00:41:45,285
He has answered my prayers.
And he finally accepted her.

1022
00:41:45,285 --> 00:41:46,605
But the, the warning shot,

1023
00:41:46,605 --> 00:41:48,725
and it's for o older people,
is that don't always happen.

1024
00:41:48,905 --> 00:41:52,085
That's right. That the kids
don't always accept that,

1025
00:41:52,115 --> 00:41:53,725
that new person in their life.

1026
00:41:53,865 --> 00:41:55,685
And it makes it really difficult

1027
00:41:55,705 --> 00:41:57,085
to date when you're older. Yeah.

1028
00:41:57,085 --> 00:41:59,885
- And you've got to think
about, can can I get past this?

1029
00:41:59,945 --> 00:42:02,005
You know? Yeah. Can I work,
can we work through this?

1030
00:42:02,705 --> 00:42:04,845
And, and I think another
thing that I see from,

1031
00:42:05,715 --> 00:42:10,085
from counseling, uh, people, you know,

1032
00:42:10,285 --> 00:42:12,845
pre-marriage counseling prevents, uh,

1033
00:42:12,875 --> 00:42:14,565
post-marriage counseling, you know?

1034
00:42:14,565 --> 00:42:17,365
Yeah. A lot of times I, I, I
tell all my couples that, uh,

1035
00:42:17,545 --> 00:42:20,165
not, not always, but, but
a lot of the times it does.

1036
00:42:20,905 --> 00:42:23,045
Um, and, and, and some of the issues

1037
00:42:23,065 --> 00:42:26,495
and problems I see when
people start dating again

1038
00:42:26,495 --> 00:42:28,615
after either they've lost a spouse

1039
00:42:28,675 --> 00:42:31,695
or there's been a divorce
for some reason, then, uh,

1040
00:42:31,875 --> 00:42:33,335
the problem is a lot of times there's

1041
00:42:33,335 --> 00:42:34,375
a lot of rebound stuff.

1042
00:42:34,395 --> 00:42:36,775
You know, there's a lot
of, uh, you know, uh,

1043
00:42:37,095 --> 00:42:38,135
I don't wanna be alone.

1044
00:42:38,455 --> 00:42:40,015
I don't wanna be lonely. Right.

1045
00:42:40,355 --> 00:42:43,735
And that's where, whether
you're 55 and dating,

1046
00:42:43,755 --> 00:42:46,415
or whether you're 16 or 17

1047
00:42:46,475 --> 00:42:50,095
and dating, you've got to
learn to have that relationship

1048
00:42:50,125 --> 00:42:53,375
with the Lord, to be satisfied with him.

1049
00:42:53,595 --> 00:42:56,295
Yes. First. And, and your
relationship with him.

1050
00:42:56,485 --> 00:42:59,335
Because if your relationship
with him is not where it needs

1051
00:42:59,335 --> 00:43:01,575
to be, then your relationship
with everybody else,

1052
00:43:01,645 --> 00:43:03,135
it's gonna be messed up too. Yeah.

1053
00:43:03,285 --> 00:43:05,775
- Yeah. Absolutely. So, absolutely.

1054
00:43:05,855 --> 00:43:07,535
And I, I just, I just,

1055
00:43:08,475 --> 00:43:10,615
and then there's, then there's
folks that are, you know,

1056
00:43:11,715 --> 00:43:13,735
the, the, the scene
changes as you get older.

1057
00:43:13,735 --> 00:43:15,335
Right. The priorities change. Right.

1058
00:43:15,435 --> 00:43:17,575
You know, when we were
young, it, it was all, man,

1059
00:43:17,575 --> 00:43:18,655
she's good looking, you know?

1060
00:43:18,655 --> 00:43:20,775
Yeah. I'm just, she's so pretty. Yeah.

1061
00:43:20,835 --> 00:43:25,255
And, and then you, you realize
that changes, you know,

1062
00:43:25,255 --> 00:43:26,895
like you said earlier, you know, sure.

1063
00:43:26,895 --> 00:43:28,855
I hope she stays the same
forever, but Right, right.

1064
00:43:28,995 --> 00:43:31,095
But it, it don't, it don't,

1065
00:43:31,095 --> 00:43:33,015
and there, there are
people in their seventies

1066
00:43:33,015 --> 00:43:35,655
who are dating, uh, and
they have an idea of,

1067
00:43:36,055 --> 00:43:37,135
I, I just want a partner.

1068
00:43:37,275 --> 00:43:38,375
That's right. And, and,

1069
00:43:38,375 --> 00:43:42,295
and the thing that I was doing
in my forties was my, my,

1070
00:43:42,395 --> 00:43:44,655
my top priority, of course was godliness.

1071
00:43:45,255 --> 00:43:46,535
I wanna follow Jesus Christ.

1072
00:43:47,075 --> 00:43:49,295
But the other thing was
like, I just want somebody

1073
00:43:49,295 --> 00:43:51,415
that I can be 85 years old Yeah.

1074
00:43:51,415 --> 00:43:52,975
And sit on the front porch, swing with,

1075
00:43:53,045 --> 00:43:54,335
hold her hand and talk to her.

1076
00:43:54,335 --> 00:43:57,335
Yeah. Yeah. Right. And that is so big.

1077
00:43:57,955 --> 00:44:00,215
And young people don't understand how,

1078
00:44:00,395 --> 00:44:02,895
how they're gonna change the
rest of their lives and, and,

1079
00:44:02,895 --> 00:44:04,055
and what's really important.

1080
00:44:04,115 --> 00:44:06,095
That's right. And the
passion's gonna fade.

1081
00:44:06,325 --> 00:44:07,895
- Yeah, sure. Sure. Yeah.

1082
00:44:07,895 --> 00:44:10,295
The book of Ecclesiastes
tells us that. Right.

1083
00:44:10,415 --> 00:44:13,815
I mean, word of God tells
us that those things fade.

1084
00:44:14,715 --> 00:44:17,775
And so what's left in the end
is your love for each other.

1085
00:44:17,955 --> 00:44:21,535
Yes. And, and, and so if
your love is lined up.

1086
00:44:21,535 --> 00:44:24,375
Right, right. You know, we've
gotta love God first. Yeah.

1087
00:44:24,375 --> 00:44:26,295
Whether we're dating,
whether we're married,

1088
00:44:26,675 --> 00:44:28,495
and we'll talk a lot
more about that in the,

1089
00:44:28,495 --> 00:44:29,535
in the whole marriage thing.

1090
00:44:29,595 --> 00:44:32,645
But, but, uh, you know,
we've gotta love God first

1091
00:44:32,705 --> 00:44:34,885
and our relationship's
gotta be right with him,

1092
00:44:35,305 --> 00:44:38,325
and then everything else
begins to fall into place.

1093
00:44:38,865 --> 00:44:41,725
So I, I encourage, you
know, I, I encourage you

1094
00:44:41,725 --> 00:44:45,685
as young people to, uh,
to listen, listen to a lot

1095
00:44:45,685 --> 00:44:49,045
of good advice, you know, from
people who are godly, people

1096
00:44:49,185 --> 00:44:50,725
who have been there, who have done that.

1097
00:44:51,215 --> 00:44:54,405
Don't discount advice because
they're 70 or 80 years old,

1098
00:44:54,405 --> 00:44:56,765
because I don't care
what time you live in,

1099
00:44:57,185 --> 00:44:59,165
listen, seasons change.

1100
00:44:59,305 --> 00:45:01,645
But you know what, it's the same old thing

1101
00:45:01,755 --> 00:45:02,965
over and over and over again.

1102
00:45:02,965 --> 00:45:05,005
- And, and your flesh is
still your flesh. It is.

1103
00:45:05,585 --> 00:45:07,165
It don't change just
because you get older,

1104
00:45:07,385 --> 00:45:09,365
you still got ugly living in
you. That's, that's right.

1105
00:45:09,385 --> 00:45:11,125
- That's right. And that, you know, yes.

1106
00:45:11,125 --> 00:45:12,445
There's more things out there

1107
00:45:12,445 --> 00:45:14,285
that probably draw our attention today.

1108
00:45:14,585 --> 00:45:17,725
Uh, you know, this phone that
we hold in our hand every day,

1109
00:45:17,725 --> 00:45:19,245
there's, there's so much that,

1110
00:45:19,915 --> 00:45:21,725
that it teaches us that is wrong.

1111
00:45:22,065 --> 00:45:25,645
And it's so easy to see things
like pornography and Yeah.

1112
00:45:25,785 --> 00:45:26,845
And those types things.

1113
00:45:27,105 --> 00:45:28,245
And, and, and he,

1114
00:45:28,425 --> 00:45:31,125
and through, through
those, through that lens,

1115
00:45:31,265 --> 00:45:33,405
if you're looking through
the lens of pornography,

1116
00:45:34,255 --> 00:45:37,245
young men, especially when you
start looking for that woman,

1117
00:45:37,265 --> 00:45:40,245
you're looking for that same
girl that you've seen in that,

1118
00:45:40,745 --> 00:45:41,885
in that porn movie.

1119
00:45:41,885 --> 00:45:46,005
Right. And that magazine.
And that is not reality.

1120
00:45:46,235 --> 00:45:47,285
That is not reality.

1121
00:45:47,705 --> 00:45:50,765
And then on the flip side
of that, we got all these,

1122
00:45:50,895 --> 00:45:53,805
we've got all these love
novels, you know, <laugh>, we,

1123
00:45:53,815 --> 00:45:57,165
we've got all these s muddy
love novels that are, you know,

1124
00:45:57,315 --> 00:46:00,685
that, that they're
explicit and they're, and,

1125
00:46:00,685 --> 00:46:01,725
and are young people

1126
00:46:01,915 --> 00:46:06,085
because we've got, we've got
wives reading these things and,

1127
00:46:06,105 --> 00:46:07,685
and older women reading these things

1128
00:46:07,745 --> 00:46:09,605
and then teaching their kids, it's okay

1129
00:46:10,025 --> 00:46:11,045
to look at this stuff.

1130
00:46:11,065 --> 00:46:12,805
And it's really, it's, it's terrible.

1131
00:46:13,185 --> 00:46:15,925
And it's putting a thought
in their mind, like, okay,

1132
00:46:16,185 --> 00:46:18,405
if my husband is not like Fabio,

1133
00:46:18,405 --> 00:46:20,925
or if my husband is
not like, uh, you know,

1134
00:46:20,925 --> 00:46:24,125
whoever it is from the, the
guy from the Vampire Diaries,

1135
00:46:24,285 --> 00:46:28,445
I mean, I actually was counseling
with a couple who, the,

1136
00:46:28,505 --> 00:46:31,405
the, the young lady said,
uh, and they were married.

1137
00:46:31,545 --> 00:46:33,485
She said, I, I wished he was like,

1138
00:46:34,085 --> 00:46:35,325
I think it's Edward, whatever.

1139
00:46:35,605 --> 00:46:38,325
I wish he was like him. I was
like, he's not real. Right.

1140
00:46:38,325 --> 00:46:40,925
That's not, it's a
character in a book. Yeah.

1141
00:46:41,065 --> 00:46:42,605
But, but, and you think, well,

1142
00:46:42,605 --> 00:46:43,845
I wouldn't get caught up in that.

1143
00:46:43,905 --> 00:46:46,645
But we do, we get caught
up in the idea, right.

1144
00:46:46,665 --> 00:46:49,805
Of who he is, the romance
of who he is, instead

1145
00:46:49,805 --> 00:46:52,925
of the biblical definition of
who that man's supposed to be,

1146
00:46:52,945 --> 00:46:54,765
or who that woman's supposed to be. Right.

1147
00:46:54,785 --> 00:46:56,725
- We, we, we go for
the pretty Right. Yeah.

1148
00:46:56,825 --> 00:46:58,885
Go for the pretty instead
of the godly. Yeah.

1149
00:46:59,105 --> 00:47:02,445
You know, and, and what's,
what's good for eternity. Yeah.

1150
00:47:02,785 --> 00:47:05,765
You know, and a godly man is
gonna treat you. Right. That's

1151
00:47:05,765 --> 00:47:06,325
- Right. He's,

1152
00:47:06,355 --> 00:47:07,355
- He's gonna love you.

1153
00:47:07,355 --> 00:47:08,165
Like Christ loves the church.

1154
00:47:08,355 --> 00:47:10,605
- He's going to respect you,
- He's gonna sacrifice for

1155
00:47:10,605 --> 00:47:11,605
- You.

1156
00:47:11,605 --> 00:47:13,645
Amen. Amen. Every day, that's
what he's supposed to do.

1157
00:47:13,795 --> 00:47:16,325
Yeah. He's putting his wants and needs,

1158
00:47:17,105 --> 00:47:20,325
or putting your wants and
needs in front of his Right.

1159
00:47:20,345 --> 00:47:23,085
And he's opening that door
and he's doing those things.

1160
00:47:23,185 --> 00:47:26,325
You know, Nicole, she used to, I,

1161
00:47:26,545 --> 00:47:29,045
I'm gonna admit this
tonight, you know, there,

1162
00:47:29,165 --> 00:47:30,285
there was a time in my life

1163
00:47:30,285 --> 00:47:31,765
where I just, I don't know, holding hands.

1164
00:47:31,845 --> 00:47:34,605
I just felt like I just couldn't
breathe almost, you know?

1165
00:47:35,145 --> 00:47:37,725
I'd rather hold hands with
her now than anything. Yeah.

1166
00:47:37,985 --> 00:47:39,045
You know, and,

1167
00:47:39,225 --> 00:47:41,445
and I neglected her in that,
you know, there's a lot

1168
00:47:41,445 --> 00:47:42,445
of times she wanted to hold my hand

1169
00:47:42,445 --> 00:47:44,765
and I didn't do it, you know,
but, but things like that.

1170
00:47:45,105 --> 00:47:47,885
And of course, you get older,
I think you get more romantic,

1171
00:47:47,985 --> 00:47:49,485
you know, you think about those things.

1172
00:47:49,485 --> 00:47:52,165
Right. You know, not so
much the sexual part of it,

1173
00:47:52,185 --> 00:47:54,325
but just loving her and cherishing her.

1174
00:47:54,325 --> 00:47:56,885
Yeah. Because you see what
you've got, you know? Yeah.

1175
00:47:56,885 --> 00:47:58,645
If you've got that Proverbs 31

1176
00:47:58,645 --> 00:47:59,765
woman, then you need to, yeah.

1177
00:47:59,905 --> 00:48:01,365
You need to feed into that.

1178
00:48:01,465 --> 00:48:05,045
You know, you need to, you
need to, uh, invest in that.

1179
00:48:05,305 --> 00:48:08,685
And so, so don't, don't
think you're not manly.

1180
00:48:09,625 --> 00:48:11,685
Uh, don't, don't think you're not macho.

1181
00:48:12,145 --> 00:48:13,965
Uh, if you're, if you're, you know,

1182
00:48:14,025 --> 00:48:15,445
not opening that door for her.

1183
00:48:15,705 --> 00:48:17,725
And then we've got all these sitcoms

1184
00:48:17,755 --> 00:48:19,165
that I think they teach our children

1185
00:48:19,225 --> 00:48:20,485
and our married couples, you know,

1186
00:48:20,485 --> 00:48:21,805
we'll talk about marriage next week,

1187
00:48:22,025 --> 00:48:25,045
but got all these sitcoms
that, you know, the,

1188
00:48:25,145 --> 00:48:28,285
the guy is usually the, he's
a bumbling buffoon. He's the

1189
00:48:28,285 --> 00:48:29,045
- Bonehead. Yeah.

1190
00:48:29,045 --> 00:48:30,605
- Yeah. He's a bonehead. Yeah. And she's

1191
00:48:30,605 --> 00:48:31,645
always making fun of him.

1192
00:48:31,945 --> 00:48:34,805
And so we got all these
avenues and the internet

1193
00:48:34,865 --> 00:48:39,005
and our phones and TV shows,
they're teaching us how

1194
00:48:39,885 --> 00:48:41,845
marriage is supposed to be
and how dating is supposed

1195
00:48:41,845 --> 00:48:44,605
to be when we're supposed
to be following the word

1196
00:48:44,605 --> 00:48:45,605
- Of God.

1197
00:48:45,605 --> 00:48:48,085
Yeah. Yeah. And we're supposed
to be being that person

1198
00:48:48,315 --> 00:48:49,445
that we would want to date.

1199
00:48:49,445 --> 00:48:52,365
Right? Yes. I mean, we, we
gotta live up to it ourselves.

1200
00:48:52,585 --> 00:48:54,725
We can't expect everything
outta somebody else and,

1201
00:48:54,725 --> 00:48:55,965
and not be something ourselves.

1202
00:48:56,025 --> 00:48:59,485
That's right. And I, I just,
I, I would, I would love to see

1203
00:49:00,175 --> 00:49:03,125
young people just praying together.

1204
00:49:03,275 --> 00:49:04,885
Yeah. Mm-Hmm. <affirmative>. Yeah. Boy

1205
00:49:04,885 --> 00:49:06,045
and girl dating that you,

1206
00:49:06,065 --> 00:49:08,765
you see 'em under knees at the
altar praying together that,

1207
00:49:09,085 --> 00:49:10,725
I mean, they're not married,
they're not completely

1208
00:49:10,725 --> 00:49:13,285
committed yet, but man,
what a step forward

1209
00:49:13,355 --> 00:49:14,525
that would be. Right. Amen.

1210
00:49:14,675 --> 00:49:16,685
- Amen. Yeah. Get a
jumpstart on that marriage.

1211
00:49:16,685 --> 00:49:18,405
- Right. Oh, big time. Yeah. Big

1212
00:49:18,405 --> 00:49:19,405
- Time.

1213
00:49:19,405 --> 00:49:22,725
Begin to, uh, uh, again,
begin to invest in that, in

1214
00:49:22,725 --> 00:49:25,525
that young lady or that
young man right now.

1215
00:49:25,715 --> 00:49:29,485
Yeah. Right now, before,
uh, before you get married,

1216
00:49:29,485 --> 00:49:30,645
before you step into that,

1217
00:49:30,645 --> 00:49:33,715
because I'm gonna tell you
something, once you get married

1218
00:49:34,415 --> 00:49:36,195
and, and real life kicks in

1219
00:49:36,375 --> 00:49:38,195
and you actually start having bills,

1220
00:49:38,335 --> 00:49:39,915
and you have to think about money

1221
00:49:39,935 --> 00:49:41,075
- And stresses. Yeah.

1222
00:49:41,095 --> 00:49:43,795
- And stresses are coming on
you, jobs, you're trying to get

1223
00:49:43,795 --> 00:49:46,515
that job you want, you
know, and you're coming in

1224
00:49:46,515 --> 00:49:48,115
and you're tired, and she's tired

1225
00:49:48,215 --> 00:49:50,515
and you're overwhelmed,
and she's overwhelmed.

1226
00:49:50,575 --> 00:49:52,235
And then comes kids and all those things.

1227
00:49:52,255 --> 00:49:54,715
And listen, I'm not
trying to put a damper on

1228
00:49:54,715 --> 00:49:55,835
what marriage life is,

1229
00:49:55,835 --> 00:49:57,835
because it is good, you know, if you,

1230
00:49:58,255 --> 00:49:59,835
if you follow the Lord's guidance

1231
00:49:59,975 --> 00:50:01,755
and it, it is a good thing.

1232
00:50:02,175 --> 00:50:05,995
Uh, but, but there's just
so much to think about

1233
00:50:06,025 --> 00:50:08,235
that we don't think about
while we're out there dating.

1234
00:50:08,445 --> 00:50:09,915
- Right. Exactly. And it's not,

1235
00:50:09,985 --> 00:50:12,355
it's not always Fabio walking
through the front door

1236
00:50:12,355 --> 00:50:13,955
with his shirt off and hair flowing.

1237
00:50:13,955 --> 00:50:15,435
Right. That's right.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. <laugh>

1238
00:50:16,195 --> 00:50:17,795
- And Fabio may have been a, a,

1239
00:50:18,055 --> 00:50:19,915
an eighties related thing. Yeah. Most kids

1240
00:50:19,915 --> 00:50:21,955
- Out there - Probably saying,
who in the world is that

1241
00:50:22,045 --> 00:50:22,995
- We're showing her age. Yeah.

1242
00:50:23,135 --> 00:50:24,595
- Anyway, so I, I'm a little bit

1243
00:50:24,595 --> 00:50:26,755
behind the times when
it comes to that Edward.

1244
00:50:26,995 --> 00:50:28,605
Yeah. And or Edward. Yeah. Yeah.

1245
00:50:28,705 --> 00:50:30,605
So, uh, so, you know, but,

1246
00:50:30,745 --> 00:50:33,485
but look at

1247
00:50:33,755 --> 00:50:36,205
what God's word says A
man is supposed to be.

1248
00:50:36,235 --> 00:50:38,765
Look at what God's word says
a woman is supposed to be.

1249
00:50:38,765 --> 00:50:41,845
Yeah. And then find those
attributes in that young lady.

1250
00:50:41,955 --> 00:50:46,485
Find those attributes in that
young man. Uh, you know. Yeah.

1251
00:50:46,565 --> 00:50:50,365
I, I know that, that when
Nicole pursued me, I mean,

1252
00:50:50,545 --> 00:50:52,565
I'm sure it was looks right off the bat,

1253
00:50:53,185 --> 00:50:55,685
but she learned really quick
that there was a lot more

1254
00:50:55,685 --> 00:50:57,045
to me than that on the inside.

1255
00:50:57,045 --> 00:50:58,805
That's a, that's a lot under
the surface there, brother.

1256
00:50:58,805 --> 00:51:00,245
Yeah. Yeah. She just had to scratch away

1257
00:51:00,245 --> 00:51:02,605
at a little bit to get there. So <laugh>

1258
00:51:03,115 --> 00:51:05,165
- Chip away a little bit
to get to the chip away,

1259
00:51:05,265 --> 00:51:06,885
- Get to the core jackhammer,

1260
00:51:07,225 --> 00:51:08,525
you know, there was a lot of things.

1261
00:51:08,785 --> 00:51:13,525
So, uh, but, uh, but again, I'm
so thankful for God's grace.

1262
00:51:13,825 --> 00:51:16,205
Oh, yeah. Uh, because I,
I'll just be honest with you,

1263
00:51:16,365 --> 00:51:19,045
I was not a man fit for her date,

1264
00:51:19,045 --> 00:51:20,245
and I was not good enough for her.

1265
00:51:21,005 --> 00:51:23,405
Absolutely. Positively was
not good enough for her.

1266
00:51:23,985 --> 00:51:25,845
But through God's grace, and, and,

1267
00:51:26,025 --> 00:51:27,485
and this is the thing I wanna say.

1268
00:51:27,515 --> 00:51:29,205
This is the thing. We've
got a few minutes left,

1269
00:51:29,465 --> 00:51:30,885
and this is the thing I wanna say.

1270
00:51:31,235 --> 00:51:34,045
Look, we're, we we're talking
about sex before marriage.

1271
00:51:34,045 --> 00:51:36,325
We're talking about all
these mistakes that you make,

1272
00:51:36,345 --> 00:51:37,805
you young ladies, you young men,

1273
00:51:38,065 --> 00:51:40,125
or even you that are starting over again.

1274
00:51:40,625 --> 00:51:42,285
But what I do want you to know,

1275
00:51:42,615 --> 00:51:44,565
maybe you've already made those mistakes.

1276
00:51:44,595 --> 00:51:47,125
Yeah. Maybe you've already
been there, you've been in

1277
00:51:47,125 --> 00:51:48,565
that place, and, and,

1278
00:51:48,625 --> 00:51:50,885
and there's a lot of guilt,
there's a lot of shame,

1279
00:51:51,035 --> 00:51:52,125
there's a lot of baggage

1280
00:51:52,235 --> 00:51:53,765
that you're carrying around with you.

1281
00:51:54,025 --> 00:51:58,085
But can I tell you this,
that my god, the Jesus

1282
00:51:58,275 --> 00:52:01,485
that I serve can make all things neat.

1283
00:52:01,485 --> 00:52:04,525
That's right. Right.
He, he can restore the,

1284
00:52:04,815 --> 00:52:06,165
where there's repentance

1285
00:52:06,165 --> 00:52:07,165
and where there's, where,

1286
00:52:07,165 --> 00:52:08,925
where there's repentance,
there's forgiveness.

1287
00:52:09,055 --> 00:52:12,285
Right? And so the Bible says he's faithful

1288
00:52:12,285 --> 00:52:14,965
and just, if we confess
our sins, he's faithful

1289
00:52:14,965 --> 00:52:16,485
and just to forgiveness of our sins

1290
00:52:16,505 --> 00:52:19,085
and cleanse us of all unrighteousness.

1291
00:52:19,105 --> 00:52:21,085
So if you've may, if you've messed up,

1292
00:52:21,195 --> 00:52:22,965
because we've all messed up.

1293
00:52:22,965 --> 00:52:25,245
Yeah. We, we we're all just one big mess.

1294
00:52:25,345 --> 00:52:26,445
But if you've messed up

1295
00:52:26,445 --> 00:52:28,925
and you've made those
mistakes, stop carrying

1296
00:52:28,925 --> 00:52:30,325
that baggage around with you.

1297
00:52:30,595 --> 00:52:32,325
Stop carrying that guilt around with you.

1298
00:52:32,355 --> 00:52:34,605
Stop letting Satan bring
those things up to you

1299
00:52:34,625 --> 00:52:35,965
and tell you you're not good enough,

1300
00:52:35,985 --> 00:52:38,205
and tell you you're,
you're, you're not fit

1301
00:52:38,225 --> 00:52:39,605
for anyone anymore.

1302
00:52:39,865 --> 00:52:43,605
But listen, go to God. Go to
God and get on your knees.

1303
00:52:44,105 --> 00:52:46,485
Ask for forgiveness,
repent of those things,

1304
00:52:46,825 --> 00:52:48,285
and then turn away from him

1305
00:52:48,385 --> 00:52:51,805
and watch God work
something new in your life.

1306
00:52:51,865 --> 00:52:54,485
And he'll send that Right Man.
He'll send that right woman.

1307
00:52:54,485 --> 00:52:57,805
That's right. Who will love you
no matter where you've been,

1308
00:52:57,985 --> 00:52:59,085
no matter what you've done.

1309
00:52:59,225 --> 00:53:03,565
That's right. Absolutely.
Absolutely. Amen. Amen.

1310
00:53:04,285 --> 00:53:06,125
I, I've enjoyed this. I hope that, yeah.

1311
00:53:06,365 --> 00:53:08,525
I hope that, that our audience has, uh,

1312
00:53:09,265 --> 00:53:10,765
has got something out of this today.

1313
00:53:10,985 --> 00:53:14,365
You know, no matter what
stage of life you're in, uh,

1314
00:53:14,465 --> 00:53:15,885
you know, when you may be young, married,

1315
00:53:15,885 --> 00:53:17,205
and you don't have kids yet,

1316
00:53:17,545 --> 00:53:19,845
but I want you to take some
of these things, take some

1317
00:53:19,845 --> 00:53:23,005
of this, uh, a lot of this wisdom that,

1318
00:53:23,005 --> 00:53:24,965
that we're speaking about
tonight is not 'cause

1319
00:53:24,965 --> 00:53:26,645
'cause we're just a
bunch of wise guys, but,

1320
00:53:27,025 --> 00:53:28,765
but it's things we've lived through.

1321
00:53:29,235 --> 00:53:31,285
Yeah. It's things we've saw, played out.

1322
00:53:31,675 --> 00:53:34,565
It's things that we've, we've
seen raising our children

1323
00:53:34,875 --> 00:53:36,605
through the years and being married.

1324
00:53:37,145 --> 00:53:40,525
And so, uh, you know, draw
from those experiences.

1325
00:53:40,545 --> 00:53:41,725
And that's what I'm telling you.

1326
00:53:41,735 --> 00:53:44,245
Those people who really love you

1327
00:53:44,825 --> 00:53:46,685
are gonna speak truth into your life,

1328
00:53:47,225 --> 00:53:49,125
and they have your best interests at hand.

1329
00:53:49,395 --> 00:53:51,765
- Yeah. And if, if they,
they're bold enough to speak

1330
00:53:51,765 --> 00:53:53,445
that truth, you should
be bold enough to listen.

1331
00:53:53,445 --> 00:53:55,725
That's right. Right. Because
it's not easy to tell somebody

1332
00:53:55,725 --> 00:53:57,325
that you got a blind spot. That's

1333
00:53:57,325 --> 00:53:58,325
- Right.

1334
00:53:58,325 --> 00:53:59,405
That's right. Right.
And that, hey, that's,

1335
00:53:59,405 --> 00:54:00,725
that brings up another thing

1336
00:54:00,875 --> 00:54:04,005
that if someone is giving you some, some

1337
00:54:04,605 --> 00:54:07,245
constructive criticism,
you know, hey, you need to,

1338
00:54:07,505 --> 00:54:09,605
and number one, we need to
be accountable to each other.

1339
00:54:09,665 --> 00:54:11,445
We talked about that last week. Yeah.

1340
00:54:11,705 --> 00:54:13,725
Um, so when somebody's saying, Hey,

1341
00:54:14,105 --> 00:54:15,365
you're overstepping here.

1342
00:54:15,545 --> 00:54:18,525
Hey, you need to back off,
Hey, this, this, this thing

1343
00:54:18,525 --> 00:54:20,925
that you're doing that
way this, this direction

1344
00:54:20,925 --> 00:54:22,885
that you're going is not good.

1345
00:54:24,485 --> 00:54:27,125
I encourage you to take that advice.

1346
00:54:27,425 --> 00:54:29,285
If you know that that person loves you

1347
00:54:29,285 --> 00:54:32,765
and they've got your best
interest at hand, take that advice

1348
00:54:33,385 --> 00:54:36,485
and see it as a red flag,
or see it as a warning and,

1349
00:54:36,545 --> 00:54:39,125
and begin to change those
things that you're doing,

1350
00:54:39,245 --> 00:54:40,445
that you know that you don't need to.

1351
00:54:40,635 --> 00:54:43,805
- Yeah. Absolutely. Pray,
pray, pray. Yes. Yeah.

1352
00:54:44,715 --> 00:54:48,405
Just God, God can, God can
work it out. That's right.

1353
00:54:48,545 --> 00:54:51,285
He, he brings a lot of, a
lot of beautiful out of a lot

1354
00:54:51,285 --> 00:54:52,285
of ugly Amen.

1355
00:54:52,595 --> 00:54:53,925
Amen. He has in my life. That's

1356
00:54:53,925 --> 00:54:54,925
- Right.

1357
00:54:54,925 --> 00:54:55,685
He has me too. He has me too.

1358
00:54:55,735 --> 00:54:57,605
Again, he's been faithful to me. Yeah.

1359
00:54:57,795 --> 00:54:59,565
When I was not faithful to him. Yep.

1360
00:54:59,705 --> 00:55:02,805
And he's been gracious
and merciful and, and,

1361
00:55:02,945 --> 00:55:05,765
and those are just things
that I never deserved.

1362
00:55:05,905 --> 00:55:07,365
But, uh, but he loved me.

1363
00:55:07,675 --> 00:55:08,845
- Amen. And
- He gave them to me.

1364
00:55:09,025 --> 00:55:12,005
So, and don't forget the
truth will set you free.

1365
00:55:12,005 --> 00:55:13,565
- That's right. Amen. That's right.

1366
00:55:14,015 --> 00:55:15,645
- Every time. That's right. Yes.

1367
00:55:15,645 --> 00:55:18,965
Dating is such a complex topic today.

1368
00:55:18,965 --> 00:55:20,405
There's so much bad advice.

1369
00:55:20,405 --> 00:55:21,925
There's so many people out there that are,

1370
00:55:21,925 --> 00:55:24,565
like Brother Dennis
talked about seeing over

1371
00:55:24,585 --> 00:55:27,205
and over the people who are serial daters.

1372
00:55:27,475 --> 00:55:29,205
They, it's, it's a game to them.

1373
00:55:29,205 --> 00:55:31,005
They literally practice these things.

1374
00:55:31,555 --> 00:55:32,925
Have loved ones in your life.

1375
00:55:33,035 --> 00:55:35,325
Have people in your life,
your church, family, your,

1376
00:55:35,355 --> 00:55:38,445
your biological family,
your friends, people

1377
00:55:38,445 --> 00:55:40,405
that are not afraid to look you in the eye

1378
00:55:40,405 --> 00:55:42,645
and say, Hey, let's slow down.

1379
00:55:42,715 --> 00:55:46,005
Take a step back. And this
goes for men and women, both.

1380
00:55:46,465 --> 00:55:48,165
It doesn't, you know,
it's not just the guys

1381
00:55:48,165 --> 00:55:49,845
that are out there doing
the serial dating nowadays.

1382
00:55:49,985 --> 00:55:52,165
Oh no. The ladies are out there
doing it too. That's right.

1383
00:55:52,265 --> 00:55:55,445
And they understand the
psychology of what they can do

1384
00:55:55,785 --> 00:55:58,885
to make themselves attractive
to the opposite sex.

1385
00:55:59,425 --> 00:56:02,125
And they're going for it, and
they're going for it hard.

1386
00:56:02,935 --> 00:56:04,485
Don't be afraid. Don't be afraid

1387
00:56:04,625 --> 00:56:06,045
to tell the people you love.

1388
00:56:06,075 --> 00:56:10,085
Parents tell your kids, family
members, church members,

1389
00:56:10,575 --> 00:56:13,445
don't be afraid to let
the parents of a kid know.

1390
00:56:13,745 --> 00:56:15,765
If you see a young person Absolutely.

1391
00:56:15,905 --> 00:56:17,325
Go to their parent and say, Hey,

1392
00:56:17,825 --> 00:56:19,445
I'm seeing this going on over here.

1393
00:56:19,595 --> 00:56:21,685
Yeah. I know. Maybe it's not a big deal.

1394
00:56:21,695 --> 00:56:22,965
Maybe I'm overreacting.

1395
00:56:23,415 --> 00:56:25,405
Maybe it's not what it looks like to me,

1396
00:56:25,785 --> 00:56:27,885
but I just want you to
know that I saw the two

1397
00:56:27,885 --> 00:56:30,245
of them out here and it
looks kind of strange.

1398
00:56:30,855 --> 00:56:32,685
Might wanna check up
on that. That's right.

1399
00:56:32,905 --> 00:56:34,805
And if the person's not receptive to mom

1400
00:56:34,805 --> 00:56:36,765
and dad mention it to 'em in passing.

1401
00:56:36,875 --> 00:56:40,445
Yeah. Sometimes young folks
need to hear it from somebody

1402
00:56:40,445 --> 00:56:41,685
that's not mom and dad.

1403
00:56:41,685 --> 00:56:44,685
That's right. Yeah.
Don't be afraid. Be bold.

1404
00:56:45,345 --> 00:56:47,445
We have the truth given to us by God,

1405
00:56:47,985 --> 00:56:50,245
and he gives us discernment
if we stay prayed up

1406
00:56:50,245 --> 00:56:51,885
and stay in his word
like we're supposed to.

1407
00:56:52,145 --> 00:56:54,445
And this is not just being a
busy body, it's loving people.

1408
00:56:54,535 --> 00:56:57,725
Right. Yeah. It's very
different than gossiping

1409
00:56:57,865 --> 00:57:01,165
or trying to, to insert
yourself into their life.

1410
00:57:01,165 --> 00:57:04,525
Just saying, Hey brother,
hey sister, I love you

1411
00:57:04,865 --> 00:57:06,725
and I don't want anything
bad to happen to you,

1412
00:57:06,725 --> 00:57:08,805
but I'm really concerned
for you right now.

1413
00:57:08,835 --> 00:57:10,325
Yeah. And I just want you to be aware,

1414
00:57:10,345 --> 00:57:12,965
and you know what, I'm not
trying to step on your toes.

1415
00:57:13,145 --> 00:57:14,965
I'm not going to tell
you what to do. Yeah.

1416
00:57:15,225 --> 00:57:17,645
I'm just letting you know I saw this

1417
00:57:18,625 --> 00:57:20,645
and it concerns me for you.

1418
00:57:20,705 --> 00:57:25,005
That's right. Because
that is a lot easier to do

1419
00:57:25,105 --> 00:57:27,125
and a lot easier to receive
than somebody coming up

1420
00:57:27,125 --> 00:57:28,165
and saying, you know, you were doing this

1421
00:57:28,165 --> 00:57:29,245
and you ought not be doing that.

1422
00:57:29,255 --> 00:57:31,285
Right. Yeah. Yeah. It's
like, now wait a minute.

1423
00:57:31,285 --> 00:57:32,925
Who are you to tell me what
I should and shouldn't do?

1424
00:57:33,185 --> 00:57:36,685
And, and people bri bridle at
that, it's love versus legal.

1425
00:57:37,095 --> 00:57:39,605
Right. Just let 'em know
that vibe spirit. Yeah.

1426
00:57:39,705 --> 00:57:41,765
Let 'em know we we're concerned.

1427
00:57:41,765 --> 00:57:43,925
We love you and we don't want
anything bad to happen to you.

1428
00:57:43,925 --> 00:57:46,445
Right. Yeah. I think this
is a great conversation.

1429
00:57:46,565 --> 00:57:48,725
I think that the points
brought up are fantastic,

1430
00:57:48,865 --> 00:57:52,085
and I really hope this will
help somebody out there,

1431
00:57:52,195 --> 00:57:55,045
some parents talking with
their kids, some kids talking

1432
00:57:55,045 --> 00:57:57,325
with each other, realize how to do things.

1433
00:57:57,475 --> 00:57:59,445
Brother Brian, you wanna
pray us out tonight?

1434
00:57:59,625 --> 00:58:00,925
- I'd love to. I'd love to.

1435
00:58:01,475 --> 00:58:02,805
Lord, we come to you tonight

1436
00:58:02,865 --> 00:58:05,805
and God, we are so
thankful that you are, uh,

1437
00:58:05,805 --> 00:58:07,045
forgiving towards us.

1438
00:58:07,135 --> 00:58:08,845
We're thankful that your, your mercy

1439
00:58:08,945 --> 00:58:13,285
and your grace of bounds,
that God, uh, uh, you

1440
00:58:13,985 --> 00:58:17,965
in, in our darkest hours, in
our, in our worst times, uh,

1441
00:58:17,995 --> 00:58:20,365
Lord God, you never
leave us or forsake us.

1442
00:58:21,065 --> 00:58:24,205
And God, we're so thankful
tonight that, uh, that,

1443
00:58:24,515 --> 00:58:27,445
that you walk with us through
the teenage years and,

1444
00:58:27,945 --> 00:58:29,605
and through the adult years and,

1445
00:58:29,665 --> 00:58:32,925
and the mistakes that we
make, God, that, uh, uh,

1446
00:58:32,925 --> 00:58:37,165
sometimes they, although they
have earthly, uh, percussions

1447
00:58:37,185 --> 00:58:41,445
and, and and consequences,
uh, Lord, I, I just thank you

1448
00:58:41,445 --> 00:58:43,565
that we can come to you
for forgiveness, Lord,

1449
00:58:43,565 --> 00:58:46,205
and you can restore us
and that we can turn

1450
00:58:46,205 --> 00:58:48,725
because to repent really
means to turn away from.

1451
00:58:49,425 --> 00:58:50,965
And so I pray that we do that.

1452
00:58:51,245 --> 00:58:52,725
I pray that if there's some young lady

1453
00:58:52,745 --> 00:58:55,805
or some young man out there,
uh, God, that they are,

1454
00:58:55,875 --> 00:58:58,205
that they're just living
in guilt and shame

1455
00:58:58,205 --> 00:58:59,765
because of something that they've done.

1456
00:59:00,685 --> 00:59:03,685
I pray that, uh, God, they'll
come to you in true repentance

1457
00:59:03,985 --> 00:59:06,645
and they'll turn from that
thing that they've done and,

1458
00:59:06,645 --> 00:59:08,485
and God, that they'll turn toward you.

1459
00:59:08,745 --> 00:59:11,725
And God, you show them
that you can use them.

1460
00:59:11,725 --> 00:59:13,805
That God, all you want
is a willing vessel.

1461
00:59:14,115 --> 00:59:16,525
Someone who is willing
to follow you, someone

1462
00:59:16,625 --> 00:59:17,925
who is willing to serve you.

1463
00:59:18,385 --> 00:59:21,085
And God, you'll take that
and you'll make disciples.

1464
00:59:21,125 --> 00:59:25,205
Lord, let us as parents,
uh, God be able to, to,

1465
00:59:25,225 --> 00:59:27,885
to have the wisdom and
knowledge we need, uh, Lord,

1466
00:59:27,905 --> 00:59:31,045
to speak in our, our kids'
lives, Lord, whether they're 16

1467
00:59:31,105 --> 00:59:33,925
or whether they're 60, and Lord, uh,

1468
00:59:33,925 --> 00:59:35,045
let us be able to listen.

1469
00:59:35,225 --> 00:59:36,685
Let us be able to take advice.

1470
00:59:37,545 --> 00:59:40,965
Uh, God, we just thank you for
this opportunity to, to uh,

1471
00:59:41,185 --> 00:59:42,325
to speak your word

1472
00:59:42,745 --> 00:59:45,005
and to talk about some
tough subjects sometimes.

1473
00:59:45,905 --> 00:59:48,045
And Lord, we just ask you that you use it

1474
00:59:48,305 --> 00:59:50,925
and that you are glorified in it above all

1475
00:59:51,305 --> 00:59:54,845
and anything else in Jesus' name, amen.

1476
00:59:55,155 --> 00:59:59,365
- Amen. - Amen. Thank you
for listening to us tonight.

1477
00:59:59,745 --> 01:00:01,925
We hope you'll join us
again next Monday at

1478
01:00:01,985 --> 01:00:03,285
6:00 PM Central Time.

1479
01:00:03,655 --> 01:00:06,085
Thank you to our host Brian
Harris and Dennis Murphy.

1480
01:00:06,465 --> 01:00:09,925
Thanks again to Brian Carter
PRIs, Bridmore Waverly,

1481
01:00:09,925 --> 01:00:11,565
Henderson Tatum, Harris Spears,

1482
01:00:12,215 --> 01:00:14,525
Josie Partain for our theme song.

1483
01:00:14,525 --> 01:00:17,285
Truth Set Me Free. I've Been,
Tyler Goes on Production

1484
01:00:17,285 --> 01:00:19,605
and Audio, and we really
look forward to you.

1485
01:00:19,605 --> 01:00:21,125
Two of you joining with us again next

1486
01:00:21,125 --> 01:00:22,525
week, we'll talk to you then.

1487
01:00:24,685 --> 01:00:28,925
- I traded my Black Heart for
Joy for something, something

1488
01:00:35,015 --> 01:00:37,005
- Truth came to me.

1489
01:00:37,845 --> 01:00:40,405
I once was blind. Now I see.

1490
01:00:40,975 --> 01:00:43,085
Truth set Me free.

1491
01:00:46,935 --> 01:00:48,925
Truth set me free.

1492
01:00:51,665 --> 01:00:54,445
Oh, truth set me.